Taking A Risk For You

Chapter 11

Matapos ang araw na yon, naging madalas ang pag sasama namin nina Shane. Si Ethan naman madalas sa labas ng school kami nag sasama, para na din iwas sa issue. Masyado akong nakapag focus sa studies at sa mga taong nakapaligid sa akin ngayon, to the point na nakakalimutan ko na si Amber kamustahin. Nakikita ko ang story nya sa ig, mga post nya sa twitter ngayong nag daang linggo. Sad to say kasama nya yung taong pinag seselosan ko.

Sa aming friendship ni Amber, ako yung mas mahigpit. Mas selosa ako kesa sa kanya, pano ba naman lahat ng tao gugustuhin siyang kaibiganin. Natatakot lang akong dumating sa point na mawawala na sya sa akin. Parang wala akong tiwala, right? Hindi naman sa wala akong tiwala sa kanya, actually malaki ang tiwala ko. Hindi lang sa mga taong iyon.

Namimiss ko na si Amber. Naging cold kase siya sa akin nitong nagdaang linggo. And I take all the blame. Ako kase ang unang nawalan ng oras para sa friendship namin, pero para sa akin naman kahit hindi kayo laging mag kausap, kung bestfriend edi bestfriend, right? Hayss. Magulo, anggulo ng utak ko ngayon.

I am calling her for nth time now. Gabi na hindi pa din sya nasagot. To think na Saturday bukas, wala naman syang gagawin. Next week exam na namin dito. Gusto ko lang syang kausapin. Ayusin sana kung may probema. Ayaw kong mawala sya sa akin, mahalaga sya para sa kin. Para ko na nga siyang kapatid e.

Finally! I cheered.

My phone beep once. I immediately open my messenger. Then I saw her chat. My heart raced like there's no tomorrow. I nervously open our convo.

Ashley, Sorry. I can't handle our situation anymore. I know this is so much immature thing, please let me grow. Let me go.

This twenty-three words hurt me so much.

Fuck!

Why? Bakit ganito? Ayos pa naman kami nung dumating sya dito. Ayos pa kami nung umalis. Dahil lang sa ilang linggo? Ambabaw. Siguro hindi pa nga ganon ka strong yung friendship namin. Ughhh! I want to take all the blame. This is my fault. If we don't migrate in this province, this thing shouldn't be happened!

I was about to reply when I discover that she already blocked me. I'd check our other social media account and sadly, all of those accounts was block.

I feel empty after reading her message. There's no tears falling from my eyes. I don't know what to feel. I feel nothing, but why?

I fell asleep afterwards. I woke up feeling nothing again. I read again her message. And there it is, hit me so much. Since yesterday I feel nothing from this message, but reading this text by this time. It just hit me so hard.

My eyes start to produce tears to my eyes.

Why is this happening? I can't believe na dahil lang magkalayo kami ganito na ang mangyayare sa amin. Wala lang ba sa kanya yung memories namin? I mean, ugh! I don't know. I have a lot of question in my mind right now.

Knock! Knock! Knock!

There's someone outside. How I wish that this message is only a prank. How I wish that's it's her behind that door. How I wish that this is not true. How I wish...

"Nak?" it's mama.

"Mama" I cried.

"Why anak?" she asked before she gave me a hug.

I cried more.

"M-Mama" I cried once again.

"Iyak ka muna, andito lang ako."

I cried for about ten minutes? Fifteen minutes? I don't know.

"Are you okay now?" she carefully asked.