Memories || Wonu ff

nineteen

Ji Young

"M-mom..." I whispered out as the video started. She was smiling and waving at the camera, testing to see if it was working before she began to speak.

She's even more beautiful than how she looks in pictures.

"Hello, my little angel." She greets in a soft and calming voice "It saddens me to say that the only way we'll be able to meet is through this video. Anyway, my name is Kang Seo Hyeon. I'm your mother."

Wow, her voice sounds as pretty as dad wrote in his journal.

"I hope that when you see this, you already know the truth--whether it be you asked your father or you figured it out on your own. And if you didn't read the letter I wrote about this yet, then that's ok. It's just the same as what I'm about to say here." She states. Before she could go any further with her explanation, the camera pans down to show a younger version of dad; he looked so stressed and sleep deprived as he was cuddling a baby--which didn't take long for me to figure out that the baby was me.

"That's you and daddy, angel." She whispers while pointing to us "You two look so adorable, all cuddled up together like that." 

The camera then pans back up to her face as she sports a sad smile and reminisces "I'm going to miss those nights where we all slept in the same bed: you in the middle between daddy and I until you woke us up with your crying at 3am." She then looked down to her tummy and pats it lightly "I was hoping we'd all do that as a family of four, but I'm afraid little Jae Beom here won't be able to make it. And I'm afraid... I'm afraid I won't be able to make it either."

She then stared straight at me through the screen, only to fall silent for a while. The look in her eyes pierced my heart as I began to mimic the sadness in her eyes. And not long after, her eyes began to well up and she broke down crying.

"I'm so sorry angel, I wish things worked out differently. I wish it didn't end this way... If it had only been different, I would've been able to watch you grow." She whimpered as her tears fell "I would've love to watch you play and laugh with your little brother. All the places I wanted to show you, all the books I want to read to you and the things I wanted to teach you--I would've brought you to my favourite café, too. It doubles as a bookstore."

That's my favourite place, too... What a bittersweet coincidence.

"It's ok, mom. You didn't know..." I whisper as I unconsciously place my hand on the screen "You didn't know things would turn out this way."

Wiping her tears, some shuffling around can be heard and she puts the camera down. Off camera, I can hear her talking to dad.

"You alright, babe?" She asks.

"Yeah," Dad yawns "Just need to go to the washroom, and then I'm going to get some water. You want anything to drink?"

"I'll just share your water, babe." She says with a sweet giggle "Here, I'll take Ji Young."

After some shuffling, I then hear them exchange an "I love you" before they share a kiss. Leaving the room, dad quietly closes the door behind him before mom picks up the camera again, this time she's holding me in her arms.

"Sorry about that angel, but look!" she then brings the camera a bit closer to show my chubby baby face "It's baby Ji Young! I wonder what it'll be like when older Ji sees you, I wonder how old she'll be."

"I'm 16 now mom..." I answer back despite knowing that she can't hear me.

There's silence for a moment as she then heaves out a sigh "I bet you'll grow up to be so beautiful." She then looks down at baby me "You have your dad's cheekbones and his cute round ears, so cute~"

Lightly pinching my chubby cheeks, she stares at baby me all lovingly "You don't know how happy your dad has made me since the day we met. Up until my 20s I had my life controlled by someone, but he was the feeling of freedom I needed when it came to love." she mentions while lulling baby me back to sleep every time I stirred "Sure I had many friends, but I had no one to truly lean on. And I didn't know he'd turn my life around." 

She stares off into the distance off screen for a moment, continuing to ramble on.

"And having you here in my arms right now proves that all the choices I made in life up until now was worth it." She nuzzles her nose into my cheek for a brief moment before continuing to recollect her memories with dad "When we were still friends, he told he didn't understand what the point of falling in love was-- but between you and me? I could knew that he felt the same way I felt about him, it was all so obvious in his eyes. He may have been seen as rude or as an asshole by his peers, but the man I fell in love with was soft-spoken and golden-hearted to the core."

She giggled for a moment, only to be interrupted by the sound of a door slowly opened again.

"What're you up to, love?" I hear dad ask.

"Oh just something for Ji Young for the future." She answers him "Will you show this to her someday?"

"Of course I will, my love." He promises "But only when she's ready, of course."

Kissing her again, mom then begins moving over a bit on her bed so that dad can sit on the hospital bed as well. Taking the camera from her hand, he then angled it to show all three of us in the shot 

"Hello," He greets the camera with a wave "this is our happy family gathering! Featuring me, the world's best mother, and our precious angel Ji Young." he states as he stroked my baby cheeks. And like how he wrote in his journal entries: his words always made her giggle and blush. As cute as it was, I still couldn't help but scrunch my nose at how they both were really smitten for each other.

Dad's words then rung in my ears as the realization hit me. This was happening "all while she was on her deathbed."

"Did you get water? I'm a bit thirsty." She shows my patting the base of her neck, signaling how parched she is. Dad goes silent for a moment as shoulders slumped and placed the camera back down.

"I'm sorry my love, I completely forgot. I'll go and buy one now." He says as he hands back the camera as she took a breath in and started to cough almost violently into her elbow, away from baby me. Panicked, he pats her back before jumping up to go get water. Hearing the door close once more, she picks the camera back up and goes back to her rambling. She apologizes for her sudden coughing fit as she stared back at the camera. I then noticed a small bit of blood pool at the corner of her mouth before she quickly wiped it away.

"Sorry about that angel," She excuses herself "but before I end this video, I just want to tell you two things: first) I left a necklace behind for you, it's a family heirloom that I kept. I hope you can wear it and know that I love you and will always be with you. And second) I hope you can appreciate what your dad does someday. Sure he's a bit awkward and timid, but he does everything for a reason. That man is truly the love of my life, and finally) I hope you find someone who does the same for you angel. Doesn't matter who it is, but I know that you deserve to find someone who'll change your life for the better- that's three things, but oh well." 

She giggles for a moment before she suddenly cuts herself off with more coughing as the video suddenly ends there. Exiting out of the video thinking that was all, but one other video caught my eye. 'Untitled.mp4'. Unsure of what to think, I open the video file anyway.

I felt a weight suddenly sink onto my chest since I had no idea what this video contained. I took a moment to drink water and prepare myself before finally playing the video.

The video starts with a similar scene to the last video, although this time there was more noise going in the background and dad was outside the hospital room. He holding baby me with one arm while holding the camera up with the other. He wasn't looking directly at the camera, but his eyes were teary and empty. 

Processing what was happening in the video, my eyes widened as I realized what was going on in the video.

No...