Memories || Wonu ff

three

Ji Young

I tried my best to act normal around dad for the rest of the day, but I can't help thinking about what Mr. Lee said to him.

It's impossible to move on when she meant so much to you...

Those words and the melancholic expression on dad's face were burned into my mind, and it began to make me feel nauseous thinking about it. I didn't even want to bring it up, especially not after seeing him break down in private, so we just sat in silence as we listened to music on the radio.

Upon walking through the door, he heads straight for his study to continue his work. Sighing, I just headed upstairs to change out of my uniform and into some comfortable long pants and a baggy shirt. Grabbing my work booklet out of my bag, I was about to sit at my desk only to suddenly feel a lack of motivation. It felt dreadful to throw myself into my work, but it needed to get done, so I decided to head downstairs. Maybe a change of scenery will help.

Getting settled at the dinner table, I put all my stuff out and sit down before finally starting my homework. I'm not sure why sitting at the dinner table and working felt more easier to do work compared to doing the work at a desk, but it really made a difference. Halfway through the booklet, and I decided to take a break and stretch as well as look out the window to rest my eyes. I was immediately drawn to the tulips and peonies in our garden; they often stood out with their bright colours when they were growing next to our vegetable and fruit plants.

I'm not really sure why dad only ever chose those two types of flowers; whenever it was time to replace the flowers and plant new bulbs, he always picks those same two. He's quite fond of them. Whenever they bloomed, he always admired their beauty and could stare at the flowers for hours if he could. 

Plants can keep people sane, I too would be admiring this every day if I was holed up 24/7 like him.

I then open the door and step outside onto the porch, sitting and basking in the light as I watched the sun go down. Not sure how long I stayed there, but after a while I hear the door open behind me. Looking back, I see dad step outside and sit next to me on the porch.

"Hi dad." I greet him with a smile while he ruffles up my hair.

"Hey kiddo," He greets back as he sits with me "What're you doing out here?"

"It felt too cramped in my room, so I did my homework at the dinner table. I'm just taking a break right now." I explain before turning my attention to him "What made you come out of your study?"

"I needed to take a break for a bit, too. I've been staring at my laptop for 3 weeks straight, and now my eyes are dryer than the Sahara desert."  He explains, I laugh at his comparison as he continued "I was also going to start planning on what flowers to plant next once I pick the tulips and peonies. Any suggestions on what to plant next?"

Thinking for a moment, I suggest "Maybe you can add some lavender? Those are always pretty this time of year."

Dad smiles and kisses my forehead "Those would be a wonderful addition, sweetheart. What about the tulips and peonies? Should I change up the colours?"

"Nah. If I did, you would try to convince me not to change the colours." I joke "Plus, the way the tulips and peonies are right now? They make home feel... complete, honestly."

"I appreciate the input" he says as he ruffles my hair one last time before standing up "Well, now I've got some errands to run before everything closes, will you be ok on your own?"

I nod and assure him that I'll be ok as he turns to head back inside. But before he headed in, he says "Also if you get bored while I'm gone, feel free to read one of the book from my study."

I nod as I remembered my mental note from earlier.

Those books in his study, the ones I saw this morning! Do they possibly have something to do with his conversation earlier? The thing he's been hesitating to tell me?

Hearing him say goodbye and close the front door behind him, I knew there was only one way to find out.