Memories || Wonu ff

two

Ji Young

The drive to school was short, and the car was nearly silent if it weren't for the radio playing whatever song was popular at the moment. Neither of us like talking--mainly because we're both pretty awkward, but  it's also because dad was never really been a fan of small talk and I understand that.

Pulling into the school parking lot, we exit the car when he decides to bring up a random topic out of the blue:

"So have any of your classmates caught your eye? Dating or crush-wise?" He asks as we walk towards the school entrance to meet up with the rest of my class.

I furrowed my eyebrows at the sudden question "Where is this  coming from?"

"Just curious, sweet pea. You're slowly getting closer to the best years of your life, aren't you just the slightest bit curious about dating?" 

Scoffing, I smile as I shake my head "I'm only 15, dad."

"So? You've got to be curious at the very least." He keeps pressing, but I shut it down.

"My answer stays the same, dad. I'm not really interested in anyone at all, and I'm not too comfortable with this topic. Can we drop it, please?" 

He nods, quietly apologizing and drops the conversation as we joined my class gathered outside the building. While I joined my friends and checked in with my homeroom teacher for attendance, many of the other parents and teachers gather around dad to talk to him. Dad on the other hand looked drained, but neither of us could really do much to make them leave him alone. Eventually my music teacher, Mr. Lee, shoos the swarm away from him and they fall into a conversation to catch up; dad has mentioned before that they've been friends since college, and that seems to have been forgotten until now. 

Not long after, my homeroom teacher got everyone's attention and began naming out the groups and chaperones before we all got into our designated rides.

Since our car was small, the only other people put with us were my two friends: Yujin and Ha Won. Heading out in our assigned groups for the ride to the museum, Mr. Lee heads to his own car as I overhear my homeroom teacher, Mr. Kim, catch up to dad and apologize to him.

"Sorry for such the hassle, Mr. Jeon. Ji Young did mention that you're not too comfortable with social situations, but I appreciate you volunteering to chaperone our class trip for the day even though these gatherings aren't really your scene."

Dad shakes his head "I don't mind, as long as it makes my Ji Young happy." he smiles while glancing back at me and my friends for a second and continuing to talk to Mr. Kim "And please, call me Wonu." he greets while sticking out his hand.

Mr. Kim then grabs his hand and shakes it while introducing himself "Mingyu. It's wonderful to meet you in person, sir."

The ride to the museum was calm, talking to Yujin and Ha Won about the museum as dad focused on road the whole way there.

Once we arrived to the museum, all the groups were each given a map of the building with key points to visit before being sent off to explore and learn until lunchtime. While exploring the museum with my friends and classmates, I break off from the group to find a washroom. Navigating around the exhibit halls, I overhear dad's voice as he's talking to someone else.  Walking to where he was, I peek around a corner and see him chatting with Mr. Lee again.

"I bet your home life is quite eventful at home with Ji Young, isn't it Wonu?" Mr. Lee asks. Dad hums and shakes his head.

"Not really. I'm usually working in my study and Ji Young is doing her work up in her room, but it's quite nice when I finally do have time to spend with her." his voice had some melancholy to it "I feel bad, though. I should be there for her more often, but here she is, taking care of me like I'm a plant- always making sure I'm fed, watered and getting sunlight."

Mr. Lee places a hand on dads shoulder to comfort him "That just means she cares, no? She's only looking out for your health, and without her, you're basically a hikikomori*."

"I know, but.." Dad pauses for a moment to form his thoughts before speaking "I'm her dad, Jihoon. I'm the one who's supposed to be caring for her, not the other way around! She doesn't deserve to spend her high school years taking care of her useless excuse for a father, she should be going out more and spending time with her friends! Be a kid!"

I'm so caught off guard from what's in front of me. Dad's never been this erratic with his emotions before- at least, not in front of me. He's always been so composed and calm, but seeing him like this really broke my heart. 

Mr. Lee briefly hugs dad before rubbing comforting circles on his back. He probably knows how much dad has been bottling up for a while now if this is how he acts not too far into a conversation with a long time friend.

"Wonu, I know this isn't an ideal situation, but I'm sure Ji Young can understand if you opened up to her about everything." Mr. Lee suggests "Of course, save the heavy stuff for a therapist, but you've got to let her in at some point."

Dad swallows thickly "I-I know, but every time I get the chance to bring it up I feel like I'm gonna vomit. It doesn't help that she looks exactly like her, too."

Her?

"The grieving process never really ends, I know it's impossible to move on when she meant so much to you," Mr. Lee then glances down at dad's ring "however that doesn't mean you're alone. There's still parts of her with you. And you've immortalized that with your work" 

"I know, but..." Dad heaves out a deep breath "I can't go a day without missing her. That's why I'm hesitant to finish this ending."

"You're going to have to face it at some point, you know. Maybe when that time comes, you'll also be able to tell Ji Young about her too."

"Yeah... Maybe."

Before I could hear them say anything else, another group walks by and causes dad and Mr. Lee to move their conversation somewhere else. I quickly dive behind a plant before Mr. Lee and dad could see me, and once they left, I got a call from my friends start asking where I am as well as other things, but the only thing in my mind is the conversation between dad and Mr. Lee.

What is dad so hesitant to face?

And why does it involve me?

*a severe form of social withdrawal, characterized by a person who becomes reclused in their home for months or years at a time and unable to go to school/work.