Dangerous Love

Chapter 14- "Where in the fucking balls of santa..."

A/N: The picture is a cover my friend made for me and she's FABULOUS af so I'm dedicating this chapter to her ♡

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Camilla

Jasper haven't been returning any of my calls or my texts. I would have driven to the cabin to see if he was there but I didn't know where the cabin was. I was starting to get really worried and I couldn't stop thinking about him.

Every single day when I woke up, I just sat on my bed and without a single pause, those thoughts would return to my head.

Sometimes the thoughts were so intense that I felt like shouting at myself that I knew I was fat, I knew I was ugly and I deserved to die. But I couldn't, it was just all in my head.

Not seeing Jasper these few days just made it worse, I felt like I didn't have much reason to live.

I know I had Abbey but I couldn't talk to her, she knew nothing about my past and I definitely didn't want to bring it up.

The thoughts in my head didn't help either, I needed to clear my mind before I drowned in my thoughts.

So I decided to go swimming.

I know how ironic it is, i mean going for a swim to not drown in my thoughts?

It was probably freezing cold outside now, luckily the previous day, the house cleaner left the pool warmer on so the water was probably warm now.

I crept slowly down the stairs, I didn't want to wake anyone, it was like 6 in the morning.

As soon as I stepped out in to the outdoor, the cold crisp air hit me like a punch. I started shivering and started swearing softly.

Running quickly to the pool, i slipped into it with a small splash and sighed as my cold skin touched the warm water. I stretched a little in the water and started swimming my laps.

The soft splashing sound and the calm sounds of the waves were so comforting and I found myself slowly relaxing.

After around 10 laps in the pool, I came to a stop at the other side of the pool and looked around. The lamp posts shined brightly against the dark sky and the waves rippled gently. The stars shined dimly in the dark sky and it was so quiet and peaceful. I sank deeper into the pool until I was fully submerged, it was much quieter here.

Then someone splashed the water frantically, causing me to swim up.

As soon as my head broke the surface of the water, I found myself staring at Oliver.

"Milly? What are you doing out here so early? It's like 6.30am and its fucking freezing. "

I didn't know why but he looked slightly scared.

" I just wanted to clear my mind, well what are you doing out here? And Oli, why the fuck do you look so scared? "

"I wanted to experience some pool time before going back to that hell hole next week. I...I just thought you were going to drown yourself or something. You know me, I'm paranoid as fuck. "

"You don't need to worry about me Oli, I'm fine. " I sat up on the edge of the pool and swished my legs in the water.

His face suddenly turned blank and than he spoke, "Well if you're fine, what the fuck is that? "

I looked where he was looking at and mentally cursed. He was looking at all of my old scars, as well as the new ones I recently did and the expression on his face was scary.

Scratch that it was terrifying.

Fuck I had to be more careful and hide them better.

"It's nothing really, can you quit looking like you're going to kill me? "