God Is A Woman. /KTH/

18

Two weeks passed with little action. No one really knew what to do, formulating some heroic plan seemed unrealistic and would probably end with our death, and trying to raise the subject simply ended with us all having headaches and feeling defeated.

Taehyung and Jimin were hit hardest by the realisation, hardly socialising at all and having serious mood swings. Somehow I found myself craving for Taehyungs touch, some type of intimacy I'd been denied that I'd never appreciated before.

His hard shell was cracking, and I found something so beautiful in that. For the last two weeks my head was filled with thoughts contemplating my feelings for him...perhaps he isn't wrong about our connection. Maybe we are meant to be together.

"Hey, Taehyung." I say, placing my body next to his on the sofa. His natural instinct is to wrap his arm around my waist and pull me closer, but he hesitates before doing so.

"Hey," he says, not even looking me in the eyes, "Why did you come to talk to me?"

I shrug my shoulders, just by his tone of voice I can tell how empty he is. "You looked lonely, and I overheard discussion about Mr. G."

"Don't even mention his name, I don't want to hear it." he glances at me through his thick lashes for a second, "Can't you bring me some good news? The members hate me, you hate me, why is it fair to live like this?"

"I don-"

"That's what you said. Were you lying? Huh? You call us the liars when you're the one lying?!" he glares at me, his voice raising. Pulling his hand and arm away from me I stand up and sit on the couch opposite. His voice lowers, "So now you're going to move away from me? You want to leave me alone too?"

At this point I realise how hysterical he is. A moment ago he was practically shouting at me and now his eyes are beginning to flood with tears.

"You always pushed me away. Why did you push me away? I can't help that I want you. I can't help it. How do I stop it, Ari, how do I stop feeling this way?" my heart breaks as tears fall from his eyes, his face turning into a state of misery. He rests his head in his hands as he cried, his muffled sobs being the only sound in my ears.

"Taehyung." I whisper.

I don't know what to say. I don't know why we are like this. Why does he like me in the first place? Why am I so reluctant to like him back?

"You did this, Ari, you ruined it all. If you weren't here then no one would be hurt," he screams at me, causing my eyes to flood with tears.

I'm not normally so weak, but seeing someone so broken in front of me, seeing Taehyung so broken in front of me...

"I'm sorry, it wasn't your fault, it was mine. I shouldn't have been so stupid." he turns to self blame before returning to pure sadness, "We can't do anything, they're all going to die, we can't do anything."

Although I'm afraid of his reaction I make my way back to the sofa he's sitting on and rest my hand on his back, rubbing it in an attempt to calm him. "It's okay, Taehyung, we'll figure it out. We have to figure it out."

He turns to me, wiping away his tears before standing up and walking away from me. "Don't be so stupid."

"Taehyung, wait!" I run after his speedy long legs and grab his arm, pulling on it. It causes the distraught man to look at me. "We might not know what we're going to do now, but eventually we will be able to do something, we will stop him."

He shakes his head bitterly. His words are unexpected, "But I'll still want you."

For a moment we just stand and state at each other. Neither of us daring to move in the silence.

It's not an uncomfortable silence, the room is practically empty, just us two. I can't help but give in to what my mind is telling me to do.

No, not my mind.

My heart.

I grab his shirt collar, pulling him down as I close my eyes; pressing his lips against mine.