God Is A Woman. /KTH/

22

Hide.

I need to hide.

Thousands of thoughts run through my head as my feet carry me away from the door. From behind me I can hear Namjoon yelling as he runs to catch up with me. Failing.

I must admit, I feel ever so slightly guilty at what I've put them through. But then again, I never asked to be in this position.

Managing to outrun Namjoon seems easy. That is, you see, until I feel a piercing pain erupt through my shoulder. Though not as extreme as it would be for a normal person, it still fucking hurts and causes me to stumble and fall to the ground.

In a haze, I scramble to get up but feel myself being pinned down and cuffs placed over my wrists.

I don't fight it.

Though my mind, my brain, my soul, are telling me running away is the right option, a chance to freedom, my heart is telling me I belong back there with Taehyung. Taehyung and my family.

My family that constantly scold me and hate me and seem empty on the inside but are really just suffering and afraid to admit it.

My family that always try to bring me down just to show me I can be a better person. My family that still bear to coach me and train me even when I'm a complete bitch. My family that I never knew I had. Yet I always wanted.

The guilt is so immense I can't even stand for Namjoon to lead me back. He has to throw me over his shoulder and carry me back to the Phuture complex with Yoongi staring blankly at the floor.

The guilt weighs down my heart and weighs down my dignity.

I hardly know these people yet my heart rushes to love them.

"Ariana, we meet again."

I can't even look at him. I can't even look into his dirty satanic eyes and care what he has to say.

"It seems you have it in your best interest to sexually attract a member of my top unit, then shoot one of my highest commanders and attempt to run away." His hands slam down on the table in front of me. "You really are determined to fuck things up for me, aren't you?"

This whole situation reminds me of when I was going back to the camp and the team kidnapped me. How Taehyung looked me in the eyes so deeply. How Namjoon forced every word out of me.

And now here the same people are, but standing, watching me with their prying gazes.

"You're not even going to look at me. Come on, sweetheart, show me your beautiful eyes." his hand reaches out to pull up my chin.

Hatred.

Black eyes.

So few people know the difference between hatred and anger, how although both are similar and link to one another, they are equally important and have their own uses.

"Black? Aw, do you think you're intimidating me?" Mr. G's facial expression turns hysterical.

"Sir, I believe black is for hatre-"

"-I don't fucking care." he cuts off Namjoon, not removing his eyes from me once.

"It seems I have to tell you you've gone too far all the time. You really do know how to test my limits." he sits down in front of me rather than leaning over the table. "No matter how many mistakes you make, I always forgive you, because they always forgive you. If it wasn't for me knowing Namjoon's certainty and trusting him with my life then you would've been gone a long time ago."

"Why do you hate people like me?"

"Taehyung," his gaze shifts to Taehyung, smirking with evil, "That knife on the side, bring it here."

Taehyung does as he's told, bringing the knife over to the table and holding it in his hands.

Mr. G leans over to my bound hands that are on the table and pushes up the sleeve of my jacket and jumper.

"Cut her with it. I want to watch her bleed."

"Excuse me?" Taehyung almost chokes with horror at Mr. G's words.

"Cut her." his smirk remains on his face, him now looking even smugger than before, "Push the blade into her skin and pull it down, a nice long cut should be suitable, nice and deep."

"S-sir," Taehyung looks at him with pleading eyes.

"Do it or I'll tie you up and have you beaten just like the rest of your kind."

For a moment Taehyung is frozen in shock before slowly moving the blade towards my arm, placing it in his hold firmly. His eyes move to mine, his frame shaking. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, Ari, please forgive me, I'm so sorry."

I feel the blade press down on my arm, pushing into my skin, cutting it open as the blood begins to seep out. Deep.

I don't even wince.

Mr. G may think I'm weak, but the only games he's playing are with Taehyung and that's the most painful thing in the world.

He pulls the blade across my skin firmly, cutting it before removing it and placing it on the table. His hands still shake.

He steps back, looking at me with true pain in his eyes.

Mr. G looks back at me, "How about you listen this ti-"

"Try again."

"Excuse me?"

"I said. Try. Again." my stern voice echoes off the walls, the strictness even causing Mr. G to shudder. "I may be in cuffs but I have more control over you than you will ever have over me."

I glance down at my arm.

"You call that pain?" I lean forward over the table, "Have you ever felt pain, Mr. G? Physical pain? No? Me neither, not proper pain that you feel, that everyone else feels. A cut is nothing to me, a gunshot is nothing to me. Your silly little attempt at torture is laughable."

He begins to speak, probably to make some stupid remark about his power, but I intervene.

"I pity you. You don't have a heart. I have a heart. The others in this room have a heart. I've been such a fucking asshole to them all, yet they still all come back to me and helped me all over again. Has anyone done that for you? Has anyone ever loved you, Mr. G?"

I scoff.

"Mr. G? What even is your name? A man like you is no God, is not even human, yet you're not like me...or Taehyung...or Jimin. When you're on your deathbed you won't be preparing yourself for the gates of Heaven, you'll be remembering all your wrongdoings and preparing yourself for Hell."

"Enough." Namjoon cuts in.

"You know what, no Namjoon it's not enough. How can you put up with someone like this? How do you condone being controlled by him?" I stand up from my seat only to be grabbed and pulled into the arms of Jimin. His chest presses against my back, trying to calm me as the blood drips down my hand and onto the floor. "I know I don't show my emotions to you guys hardly at all but I fucking love all of you. I only said I hate you because I didn't recognise the feeling. Just like with Taehyung."

"Ari it's okay, you don't have to talk about this," Jimin says into my ear, his stupid attempt at making me relax.

"You're all amazing, I don't want to lose you guys ever, except for you Mr. G, you can go fuck yourself." Yoongi chuckles at my aggression and a smile passes over the boys faces.

"I know I'm a cruel man, Ariana, but as long as you work fine in the team and stop causing fucking problems I can vaguely accept you." Mr. G's words are spoken softly.

I nearly have a heart attack.

Hold on.

What the fuck?

Why's he being so...not evil? Is this a trick?

You know what, fuck it, I can deal with that later.

"All of you leave, I need time to think about this situation." Mr. G stands up, hatred reappearing in his eyes when he looks at me.

Ah.

The guilt inside me is almost gone.