snapchat 2.0 | han jisung ✓

24

i stood under the shower stream, letting the hot water beat against my sore muscules. i had went a little too hard during my workout session with changbin and minho. changbin had told me to chill out a bit but i ignored him.

i needed a way to escape my feelings. it had been five days since my fight with ashton and i missed her. but i knew she needed time. i wanted to talk to her and apologize for being such an ass. it wasn't a want, no, i needed to make things better.

i stayed under the stream a bit longer before turning the water off and wrapping a towel around my waist. i slid the shower door open and carefully stepped out. just as i was about to pick my phone up, it lit up with a snapchat notification.

GODLYJISUNG is typing...

my heart started thumping against my chest. i was nervous about what she was going to say. a notification popped up, saying she had sent me a snap. i immediately tapped on the notification and the screen loaded.

GODLYJISUNG
hey ji :) give me a call when you get the chance

i didn't hesitate to call her. i chewed on my bottom lip as i  waited for her to answer. she picked up on the third ring.

"hey ji," she said and i could sense the nervousness in her voice. i pulled the phone away from my ear for a moment to look at the time. it was almost 11:30 at night.

"it's late. what are you doing up?" i asked her, knowing we were an hour apart from each other.

"i can't sleep," she replied. "besides, i'd feel better after we've talked."

i let out a soft sigh. "it's good to hear your voice," i said. "look, ash, i'm so sorry...about everything. the way i acted and what i said to you...i was just being an overjealous ass. but that's not an excuse for the things that i said. i'm so sorry. i never meant to hurt you."

"i know you didn't," ashton replied quietly. "but maybe i was in the wrong, too. i shouldn't have touched chan like that."

"no, don't apologize for that, ashton. you were just being friendly and i took it the wrong way," i said. "i overreacted and i was childish about it. and using your insecurities against you...i can't describe how sorry i feel. i don't know if i can ever forgive myself for doing that to you, especially in front of the boys like that. i'm sure elisia just wanted to beat the shit out of me and i don't blame her."

"she still does," ashton said. "and she will probably still want to even after we've made up."

"don't worry. the boys wanted to beat me up too, especially chan and minho," i sighed. "ashton...baby, i should've never said you were annoying and that i wanted to break up. i know why you bottle your emotions in sometimes and i know you're sensitive. but i promise you, there's nothing wrong with that and i don't have a problem with it. i just let my anger get the best of me and i'm so sorry. i hope you can forgive me."

"i forgive you," she said and i immediately felt at ease. "i'd be lying if i said it didn't hurt when you said that. and for a while, i wasn't even sure if things would work out. i wanted to talk to you earlier but my mind just wouldn't let me. in a way, i guess i was trying to prepare myself for the worst.."

she sighed and i waited for her to continue. "i've always had this wall built around myself because of my dad. he's never been the role model he's supposed to be. he was abusive towards us and always got mad over the littlest things. the things that he said and did to us, it really left a mark. even after the divorce, i tried so hard to forgive him for the shit he put us through and to give him more chances than he deserved. but i ended up breaking my own heart in the end from trying so hard."

"i'm so sorry, ashton. i wish you would've told me sooner, i had no idea," i said. my heart broke for her. no one should ever have to go through that. "i promise that i'll try harder and i'll never hurt you again. i love you so much, i hope you know that."

"i do," she said. "and i love you too."

i smiled to myself. "so are we good now?"

she laughed a bit. "yes, we're good."