Ahsoka, Daughter of the Light (Book 1): Attachment

Chapter 21: A Code Broken

AHSOKA TANO

Ahsoka and Lux rode their Rupings to this "special place" he had said they were going to. He said it was a few miles away from the city, and would take roughly a 15 minute ride to reach. Sure enough, it only took them around that time to get there. Ahsoka and Lux set down their Rupings in an opening in the trees near a cliffside. Lux said that they had to walk from here.

"So," asked Ahsoka, "What is this 'special place?' you're talking about?"

"You'll see," replied Lux.

"Also, shouldn't we be a bit more protected? The jungles are harsh..."

"No, this area always seems quite calm for some reason."

"Well, good. I can't wait to see this spot."

"Don't worry, you'll love it."

Ahsoka could sense something about Lux, some form of uneasiness or nervousness, as if he wanted to tell her something.

Could it be, Ahsoka thought, he... he loves me too?

Ahsoka kept walking. Unlike a few days ago, she just couldn't shake off her feelings anymore. The possibility that Lux loved her back was something she would have shaken off back then, but now, she had gone too far down this path. She loved Lux. She couldn't deny it.

Soon, they were at the spot Lux was talking about. It was... gorgeous. It was a peaceful spring with a little waterfall. There were some rocks to sit on, too.

"Here, let's take a seat," said Lux.

And so they did.

Lux looked at Ahsoka, noticing she seemed kind of stressed.

"What's wrong, Ahsoka?" Lux asked.

"Nothing, I'm fine..." she replied.

Lux put his hand on Ahsoka's shoulder.

"Ahsoka, tell me... how did you capture Bane? He's gotten away from Jedi before, and he's quite the fighter. For just a padawan to have caught him, that's impressive, even for you..."

Ahsoka, trusting deeply in Lux, couldn't held it back.

"Lux, I... I was consumed by my feelings. I... I felt I had to protect you, how much of a threat he was to you, and eventually, something snapped. I... Lux, I force choked him. I was consumed by the dark side. My desire to protect you turned into a desire to get revenge on Bane for trying to kill you. And that's... well... I... The only other time I've seen another Jedi do this is my... my master. Lux, I don't know what's happening. Whenever Anakin force-choked someone, I was quick to try to calm him down and convince him it wasn't the Jedi way. But now... now it's happening to me... Lux, I'm afraid."

Lux took a moment to take all that in.

Finally, he opened his mouth and replied.

"Don't worry, it's okay..."

"No," replied Ahsoka, "I've broken the Jedi code. It's not okay. I've strayed to far from the ways of the Jedi..."

Ahsoka shed a tear.

"Hey, Ahsoka..."

"Yes, Lux?"

"How do you feel about the Jedi code?"

Ahsoka thought of a response of that question for a moment.

Finally, she said, "Lux I... I'm having my doubts about the Jedi ways. I feel like I can't do what I want to do. Everything here on Onderon is so fun and happy, I wish I could stay. But... I can't. And that's not even the worst. I... I can't even have emotion, Lux. I'm not allowed to have feelings for anyone. I can't do the things I want, go where I want to, be with the people I love..."

Ahsoka stopped herself there. She noticed her tone of voice was getting softer, and she was staring dreamily into Lux's eyes.

Finally, she found the courage to continue speaking.

"Lux, I... I don't know if I should say this. I can't form attachments, Lux. But I have, Lux. I've broken the code. Lux, I... I..."

Ahsoka began to cry as her emotions washed over her.

"I love you, Lux."

Lux began to stare back into Ahsoka's eyes, and lean in.

"I love you too, 'Soka."

The two faced each other and slowly leaned in. Their foreheads touched. Slowly, their lips moved ever so closer together. Ahsoka's lips gently touched Lux's, and they kissed. It stayed like that for a few moments before Ahsoka began to move herself closer to Lux. She put her arms around him, and he out her arms around her. They held each other like that for what felt like at least a few minutes, as Ahsoka's fears and worries melted away as Lux held her and kissed her. Slowly, they pulled away. Tears were dripping down Ahsoka's face.

Ahsoka was at a loss for words for what just happened.

"'Soka," Lux said, "I... from the moment I first saw you on Raxus, I had a crush on you. You were just so elegant, so flawless, so perfect. And... I knew I couldn't have you. I just let you pass by, thinking I'd never see you again. But then, when I interrupted that meeting on Mandalore you were at, and you saved me from execution at the hands of Dooku... and then, you saved me from making a terrible mistake with Death Watch, and then... Oh, I just... I love you, and I never thought I'd have you, I didn't think I deserved you. But now I have you, Ahsoka, and that's all that matters."

Lux pulled her back into a kiss, and Ahsoka gladly obliged. A little while after they slowly broke off again.

"I love you so much, Lux," Ahsoka said.

"And I love you too, Ahsoka."

Ahsoka pulled Lux back into yet another kiss. They were in love now. They had admitted it. There was no more denying, no more uncertainties. And while Ahsoka had broken the Jedi way, she couldn't help it. She deeply, truly, madly loved Lux Bonteri.