i called this one "thoughts from a thot" because my ex bf's friend called me a thot when i stood up to his manipulation, so it was a cathartic way to be cynical and sarcastic about the name and expressing my feelings towards them.
pick up where we left off
leave behind the important parts
tell them half the story
yell you're a victim
a slut for glory
you "strive for acceptance"
but not for the rest of us
you "felt so much pain"
where? from the tears on my face?
or maybe your reputation at stake?
just lie a few times more
that will save your name
i don't want to be part of your
sickening game
moments to hours
but mine was ours
my pain must be yours
if you wish to gain the favors
just tell them it was me
who broke your heart
when you're the thing
that split us apart
you never had a reason to go
other than "you're not that girl"
told me i never mattered to you
but it was i who tore us in two?
go tell your friends how great you are
indeed, you triumphed, you're a star
i'll sit in the pew and watch from afar
take notes each time you mention me
changing each little memory
into something it wouldn't be
if it "weren't for me"
my eyes flooded, tears fell hard
shot through with blood,
a shot to the heart
yet in the same light
it's nothing new
becoming the everyday fight
becoming the struggle "you just get used to"
it's nothing new
took matters to my own hands
changed all my plans
held onto each friend
as if our friendship was about to end
you made it feel as though my world had crashed around me
and pain and hate would soon surround me
never-ending suffering from the aftermath of our arguing
one word becomes a paragraph
and then an essay
what more can i say
i did everything i could
and it still made you bored
but yes, was i who caused you pain
was i who, for the first time
let you know i wasn't okay
that set you off like a time bomb
ready to explode
i finally told you what you didn't want to know
your plans are ruined
i crashed your show
i'm sure i'm petty
i'm sure i'm annoying
but this time i won't be silent
i'm damn sure telling my story
i hope the world knows your name
the one who lied for drama and fame
the one who took "forever" as a game
i'm working on who i am and 'cause of you i learned a lot
now i push through more than i ever could before
it's all because of you
that i am who i am
i'd thank you but, remember, i'm pretty petty
and after all, you never cared
but thanks for making me prepared
