dukeceit oneshots (abandoned)

Deodorant Dilemma

(Obviously this wasn't seventeen minutes ago lmao I just had it saved to one of my request t h i n g i e s)
Thank you to JanusIsASlimySnekBoi for this idea/request ♡

Genre: Pure fluff !!

Trigger warnings: Food is kind of the whole basis of this fic, one (1) swear word, (unless anus is considered a swear? Lmao), it's not very long the plot is kinda just uh,,, they have the big gay for each other, blood mention.

A/N: From the bottom of my heart, thank you guys for all your kindness regarding the last note, I love you all sooo much and I wanna try my best to give you content :") Alsoo something that has been on my mind is I want a collective name bc there are getting to be so many of y'all !! I was thinking my chemical romances but I saw somebody already did that and that would be stealing 😔 I need suggestionss ! Fr though thank you all ♡♡♡

I love you all 💚💛 Stay safe :)

♡♡♡

Janus sighed distastefully and held up an empty deodorant container (as far away from him as he could) tipping a spoonful of blended food into it. "Remuss! Dinner is ready!"

It had all started a couple of weeks ago, when Remus had pushed his bowl of pasta away with a sigh. Janus had squeezed his hand gently. "Pasta is your favourite, what's wrong sweetheart?"

"Feel sick." Remus had looked away and he couldn't quite meet Janus' eyes.

"It's all that deodorant you've been eating," Dee reassured him softly. "Come on, Re."
"No, I don't want it, Dee." Remus sighed distractedly. "Can I show you my new painting, Jan? It's a mangled corpse!"

"Of courssse, my love." Janus was concerned about Remus (more concerned than was normal, for the chaotic man), but he didn't want to worry him.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

A few weeks later, Dee had a picnic planned for Remus to hopefully encourage him to eat something else that wasn't that stupid deodorant.

The pair headed to a little secluded forest in the imagination, & it was pretty nice, the pair discussing their latest plans to commit arson - until it was time to eat. Remus became quiet and subdued, and whatever he did pick to eat he pushed around on his plate sadly.

"Oh for crying out loud, Remus!" Dee cried with a hiss. This had gone on for far too long. Remus looked up, startled. Janus was taking one of Remus' empty deodorant sticks & putting his food in there...?

Jan held it out to Remus, who took it hesitantly, before tipping the lot down his throat and wolfing it down with his (unnaturally) sharp teeth.

"This is delicious Dee! I love it!"
Janus had just sighed in relief. He was glad to see his boyfriend eating, even if it was in a gross, leftover deodorant can.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

And so, this is how Remus' meals had continued, and he seemed happy with it, so J was happy too.

(Back to current time, in the ✨kitchen✨)

Remus bounded down the stairs, sash covered in what seemed to be blood, but Jan tried not to think about that.

"Dee!" Remus' grin widened as he caught sight of his boyfriend, and Janus would be lying if he said that didn't make his heart skip a beat.

"Jan Jan, I wanted to speak to you, actually!" He bounded over to his lover and Janus held the taller man's sides, running a hand through his hair. "Yes, love?"

"I know you don't like making me food anymore,"
Janus went to speak, but Remus interrupted. "Don't even try to object, Double D. I wanted to say thank you for doing it for me anyway. Love you, J-anus!"

Dee turned to hide his cherry-red cheeks, trying to compose himself.
"Very sweet. What are you planning?" He muttered dryly.

"No, I really meant it, Dee!" Remus pouted.

Janus looked up at Remus and opened his mouth to speak, when Remus leaned down for a chaste kiss. "No! Brush your teeth! Filthy man." Dee squealed, shoving him away.

"Awee, Dee Dee." Remus smirked, teasing. "I know you want toooo!" He started making crude kissing sounds and tried to smother Dee. "No! Brush your teeth! Brush your teeth, brush your - fuck."

It was too late. Remus had him cornered. Janus sighed, grossed out, but pulled him closer nevertheless, letting Remus push him against the counter.

Oh well. Janus supposed he could let it slide just this once.

(But they both knew that Janus would let it slide on more occasions.)