life sucks sometimes

im back

hi again, I haven't been here in a very long time. as I look back on what I wrote, I realize how creepy it was. so sorry about that. I mean it was all very true to what I was feeling at the time but it's still kinda weird to write kinda poems about a girl you barely know. I still think of her from time to time but I have completely moved on. she is no longer in my life at all which kinda sucks but I think its what I needed. I'm sure she doesn't even give a shit. anyway, I came back to complain more about my life. not that its that bad, I'm just lonely like usual. so here we go, back to the weird poem things that no one likes hahaha.

i want to talk to someone on the phone everyday like I used to

I miss it so goddamn much

I mean I could do it with my friends

and I do sometimes

but I wanna meet someone new

what I really want though

is to fall in love

to find someone that really gets me

to find someone to call darling and love

I want a connection that I've never had before

but no one wants that with

its because I'm ugly

I'm fat and gross

and I'm unfunny and unlikable

I mean the other ones are definitely true

but what if the last ones are too

what if it's not just because I'm fat

I mean there are fat girls in the world who found love

maybe its the people around me

maybe they are just too judgemental

but what I really think it might be

is the way I act

I never really considered it before

I think I'm a decent person

i try to be kind to everyone

i try to be helpful and nice

but maybe people just don't like me

maybe i am an asshole 

i don't know