life sucks sometimes

I'm sorry you broke my heart

I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry
I'm sorry I ever said anything
I'm sorry
I feel like I messed up a lot
Just forget it ever happened
I just want to be friends
That's it
I don't want you to hate me or ignore me
I feel so bad that I ever sent something
I'm so sorry
If you want, I can just leave you alone
It's ok if you just don't want to talk to me
I'm sorry if I'm now making you feel bad
That's not my intention
My intention is to try to be as honest as I can
But that doesn't seem to be working
I'm sorry
I'm sorry
I hate seeing you feel bad and I know it probably isn't my fault
But I still hate it
I'm so fucking sorry
I'm such an asshole
God this is so pathetic why am I still writing this
Nothing is going to change
It wasn't meant to be
I made a mistake and I don't think that I can fix it
I'm sorry
From the bottom of my heart I'm sorry if I hurt you
If I ever made you upset or mad, I'm sorry
My dumbass feelings are very strong cause who knows why
But I just have this urge to tell you everything but I feel like you don't want to listen
I'm sorry I'm bothering you
I'm sorry I tried to be friends with you
I'm sorry that I don't know how to help you
I want to so bad but I feel like you just don't want me to
And that's ok
If you don't want me to help, then I'll stop
I'm sorry for sending this
I'm sorry for sending you such long things
I'm so sorry for just trying to be in your life
I feel like I messed it up even more, even if that isn't true
I'm sorry
I'm such a pathetic asshole
I'm sorry I'm sending you this long rant about nothing that you care about
If you read this, don't feel bad or pity
I don't want you to
You don't even have to reply
I want to be honest
I'm probably going overboard
I mean I definitely am
But I feel this overwhelming urge to tell you the truth and to make sure you know that I just feel bad for everything
I'm overthinking how to talk to you and I just want this to be normal
I just want to be friends
That's all
I just want you in my life cause you seem like a really amazing person
Please look past the crush thing
I don't want to think about it
I don't want it to get in the way
I'm sorry if I made it weird
I'm sorry
I'm probably making everything worse by saying all this
You probably don't even care
You're in a bad state of mind and I'm sending you my stupid ass problems
I'm such a hypocrite
I'm such an awful and annoying person
Why am I doing this?
Why?
Maybe cause I normally keep everything in
I keep it all bottled up
I don't tell people anything
I'm always trying to worry about them
Trying to help them
Just like I want to help you
Maybe I should get a therapist
That would be helpful
I don't know anymore
Now I'm just making excuses
But that's what I want to do
I want to make excuses for being annoying
I don't want to accept that I am annoying
But I am
God it's like my mind is fighting itself
I'm trying to see both sides
But I really just want to act like a selfish bitch
I'm sorry
I'm going to stop now
You don't deserve me bothering you
I'm going to stop burdening you with myself
I'm sorry
I love you (no homo)
Sorry
Thought I would add that
Cause I don't want the crush thing to interfere
I'm sorry