Hunting Season (Kelly Severide Love Story)

Saving Grace

"I CHASE IT DOWN WITH A SHOT OF TRUTH, DANCING THROUGH OUR HOUSE WITH THE GHOST OF YOU" 

We sit in the front row, all dressed in black, I should be burning hot, but I feel nothing but the shivering cold run through me. 

The only people attending Rachel's funeral are Betty (her assistant), Jess, Ryan, Thatcher, my mother, Henry and I. 

Even though she was well respected by the other lawyers, it didn't mean that she had any friends or family. Never married and with no children, she gave everything to her work, even her conscience and morals.

But I refuse to remember Rachel in such a negative way. 

It does no good. 

She is the reason I am alive and not joining her in the casket. 

Jess returns from giving her speech, wiping her tears with a handkerchief before sitting back down. I squeeze her thigh to comfort her, knowing how hard it is to get up there and explain how much this person meant to you in a 2-minute speech.

Rachel was more than 2 minutes. 

The priest calls for me to come up and say my piece.

Taking a deep breath, I walk up to the podium, inhaling deeply to stop myself from breaking down again. I need to get these words out, and I can't get them out if all I am is a crying mess. 

"Okay, uhm," I seem to not remember what I wanted to say. 

"Where do I even start?" I look over at the picture of Rachel, "Rachel was-" I am interrupted by a crowd of people, walking through the graveyard and over to us. Upon closer inspection, I notice it's my 51 family walking in, all here to pay their respects.

I didn't ask them to do this, so it means a lot that they came on their own accord. 

Sending a small appreciative smile before collecting my thoughts as they stand behind the row of chairs, head bowed down. 

"Where was I?" I think, looking back at the picture.

"I remember the first time I ever met Rachel, she helped prove my father's innocence. When the legal world turned against him and shut him out, she didn't, she worked tirelessly to make sure that he came home to us. She had a brilliant mind and thought a lot differently than everyone else. I remember admiring how she commanded every room she walked into, you didn't have to like her, but you always knew that she was someone not to mess with. She is the reason I went to law school, I wanted to work under such a high-powered and eloquent woman.

I was lucky enough to learn from her. She taught me a lot, not only about the law but how to be unapologetically confident. She taught me how to ask for forgiveness instead of permission, without her, I would have let this world walk all over me and not get to where I wanted to be. Even after everything, I can't hate her because then I would have to hate myself because so much of myself, I learnt from her. Forget all the bad things you heard about her, was she perfect? Far from it, but she was always someone you could count on. 

When my father was about to go to jail, he made her promise to take care of us, and she did, I can't remember a moment when I needed her, and she wasn't there. She always protected me till her last second. Rumours are circling around about the type of person she was, but I want to tell you this. When we were in that house, she caught the match to protect me and when the place went up in that split second. Instead of saving herself, she shoved me out of the way, simultaneously saving my life and ending hers. I just ask you to remember that version of Rachel."