守りたい // hidekane

20

As a kid, Hide had always wanted to become a ghoul investigator.

His parents were once investigators as well, so it was only natural for him to be interested in the topic as a kid and asking them questions about what the fearsome man eaters were like, if they really do look like humans or if they act any different to humans and whatnot. They were always willing to fill him up with answers to his questions (albeit brief ones that a 7 year old would understand), although they weren't as enthusiastic about letting their son into the whole ghoul investigator thing.

In Hide's eyes, his parents were like the superheroes he would read about in his comic books, the ones fighting for justice and ruling out the bad guys, saving the day and moving on to the next fight. And if there's one thing he knows the most about superheroes, it's that they never die.

Except his parents did.

The CCG was just starting to give their manufactured quinqes a try against combat with an actual ghoul, but they weren't ready and the severed limbs of his parents prove just that.

He should've seen it coming, really. But he was just a kid, merely 7 and a half, so of course he would've believed his parents were goddamned superhumans that were invincible to the threat  — so the hard truth ultimately hit him in the face like a stack of bricks, then followed by his eyes stinging for weeks after crying became his favorite past time.

The CCG takes him to their care as their protocol for the children whom've lost their parents and are left with no one else to provide for them for the time being, and that's where he spends at least a year or two until his aunt from Tokyo takes him under her wing. Then he enrolls to school, meets Kaneki and the rest is history.

Hide would be lying if he were to say that he never held a personal vendetta against ghouls. Of course he grew up hating the very creatures that killed his parents, and there was a point in his life where he had wanted to abandon his studies and become a ghoul investigator instead which is born out of his desire to avenge them.

Soon enough the idea died down though, and he ended up going to college to pursue a different dream that isn't tied with his past. If he had chose to take that path, he'd never be able to let go of his grudge and he'd constantly be looking back, never freeing himself from what had happened years ago. So he stashes away all the books related to ghouls, all his research and hopes to move on with his life.

Then there was Kaneki. His best friend had turned into a ghoul.

There was maybe a few seconds where Hide had just felt pure rage at the revelation (which had happened when he was faking unconsciousness during the fight with Nishio-senpai), but it was hard to stay angry at Kaneki after the dark haired male had gone through hell and back just to protect him (even if he almost tried to eat Hide until Touka showed up).

Then came the blaming train where Hide just goes through a spur of thoughts that all of this may have been his fault. Maybe if he had kept a keener eye on his friend instead of getting upset when he'd found out Rize and Kaneki were going on a date and leaving them to their own devices because he couldn't bare to hear the dark haired male's excitement directed to someone that wasn't him, or maybe if he simply just discouraged Kaneki right from the start and didn't leave his friend alone in Anteiku where Rize had made her advance then this whole thing wouldn't have happened. Or maybe if he'd just realized what he felt sooner—

"Akira-san, Amon-san, I got you some food!" Hide calls out, closing the door behind him with his free hand as the other held the said food inside a plastic bag.

Full circle, Hide thinks ironically.

"Thank you, Nagachika." Amon says, taking his meal and handing the other to his partner. "I'm sorry you had to be bothered to get it for us."