守りたい // hidekane

:re 1

TWO YEARS LATER.

There's a feeling ..... a feeling of longing settling in his bones. It's uncanny and it never goes away.

But he really doesn't get it, what is there for him to long for? He's got everything he needs, a family of sorts, how weird they may be, how weirder it is that there's barely anything in his head that he can reach for to remember what once was before he was welcomed into this new world of his.

Haise knows he's a hollow shell of a person, knows that there's something Akira and Arima aren't telling him, knows that the secret they're keeping will end up destroying him.

It's weird how he's surrounded by so many people - people he really, truly cares about and still feels like .... like it doesn't belong to him. The happiness he feels whenever Shirazu bombards him with his stupid stories while Mutsuki simply sits beside him to offer a chuckle or two or when Saiko compliments his cooking - even Urie's brooding glare whenever he excuses himself for jog .. a part of Haise resents himself for it and he never really knows why.

"So, how have things been, Haise?"

He quickly evades the quinque aiming dangerously close to his neck, jumping a few inches away from the man standing before him on the table.

He manages a small smile while scratching the back of his neck sheepishly, blocking out the attacks of the other with his own weapon. "It's been pretty good so far, Arima-san." Arima only nods as if waiting for him to continue while he carries on swinging his quinque at Haise.

"The kids aren't causing as much trouble as they did. Although Shirazu and Urie did get caught up in a minor ghoul confrontation without my permission...again. But nothing I couldn't handle." Haise chirps. He loves talking about his squad, it makes him sound like an embarrassing single father sometimes.

"Mutsuki's kagune still won't come out, but he's definitely working on it. Saiko came out of her room six times this week, too!" To others, it doesn't sound like much, Haise knows, but for a neet like her who used to only come out to see the outside world only once a week, it's a pretty big change.

"I'm glad to hear that." Arima smiles genuinely, the same time he knocks Haise's quinque out of his hand, pointing the edge of his spear-like weapon right under the young man's chin. Arima fixes his stance to stand normally, but a glint in his eyes tells the poor half-ghoul, I win.

"No fair!" Haise whines, jumping off of the long table to pick up his discarded quinque. "I was distracted!"

Arima sits back down on his chair, an amused stare present in his eyes. "You musn't let yourself lose focus, even in situations such as these."

Haise slumps in his seat in reply, eyes trailing over to a book looking out of place on Arima's clean and posh-looking table (despite them having their feet all over it just a few seconds ago). "What's this..?" He reaches over to touch it, hesitant, eyes meeting the other across the room in silent permission.

"I'm not even sure myself. Somebody mailed it in for you yesterday." He supplies, "You can take it, Haise, don't worry."

Examining the book which looked as if it were newly bought if not for the barely noticeable creases on certain pages, Haise's fingers trace over the title printed in bold letters.

The Black Goat's Egg by Kafka.

"...-Haise?"

Snapping out of his sudden reverie, he finds himself looking at Akira's concerned stare.