Jyatt

9. Dreams

Wyatt's POV:
We walked to the park, me giving instructions once in a while. We were still holding hands and sometimes Jaeden would show me some cool places I didn't know about and the rest of the time we spent it in a comfortable silence.
Well. I was, until I heard the voice again.
The familiar yet strange voice. I did not miss it. And I felt trapped, knowing that it would not leave me for a while.
'He doesn't want to be your soulmate'
I ignored it. Concentrating on the features of the now extremely interesting hand that I was apparently holding tightly.
'He knows you're fucked up, how fucked you truly are'
I forced myself to look around and distract my mind. It clearly didn't work.
'Your plan sucks. It won't work'
I tried to ignore it the best I could but my mind kept replaying my dream. That turned into a nightmare as it always did.

- flashback -
I feel asleep quickly. I was really tired.
I felt the darkness take me and I freely waited for it to come.
My dreams would always be the same thing. Darkness. That son of a- that annoying voice. Actually. A nightmare.
I usually have it every night but when I met Jaeden, my soulmate, it got worse.
I felt fear dance through my veins, my eyes already used to the darkness surrounding me.
'Just drown me already', I wished sadly.
But when I opened my eyes, instead of blackness, I saw colors. Not just two, all of them. Hundreds of colors that I had never seen were there. All around me, like I was the main character of some shit.
There were hundreds of trees, but not green and brown trees, they were blue and purple trees.
There were flowers everywhere. They had a new color in each petal visible. It was like magic.
And the sky was a dark blue, with a million stars shining like flashlights.
It looked like a dream.
I blinked twice, thinking that it would all fade away, that it's all a trap, a lie.
But after a while of blinking I realized it wouldn't fade. At least not yet.
"What the fuck"
I walked around, exploring and finding new species of birds, birds that I had never seen.
There was a small pink bird, cute and chubby, like cotton candy.
And two more birds flew towards the blue tree.
"This is beautiful", I sighed romantically.
'How is it possible? After all those months of having nightmares... now i dream?'
"Wyatt!", I heard a happy voice exclaim.
'What in the world'. I quickly turned around.
Jumping a bit, I smiled softly. "Jaeden"
"Come on! Don't stand there like a fool", he laughed.
'His laugh sounded like every color in this place... is that even possible? What am I even saying? I'm dreaming! Of course it's possible'
I grinned like the idiot I am and ran towards Jaeden happily.
He giggled and grabbed my hand, guiding me through this magical garden.
"What is this place?"
"I go here when I'm sad... it's my happy place", he smiled sadly.
"I love it. I see why it's your happy place"
He grinned and pointed towards a small wooden house.
"That's my home", he exclaimed excitedly.
"Awesome", I smiled.
'I'm glad he's happy'
"Let's go inside, I can show you around later if you'd like"
I nodded feeling nervousness rise in my system. Like if it was warning me something bad was about to happen.
Jaeden stopped and turned around to face me.
"How are you enjoying my dream so far?", he smiled innocently.
"Y-your dream? I'm in y-your dream?"
"Yes silly. Now do come in", he pushed me inside.
'His dream? Of course! He's my soulmate. I'm dreaming what he usually dreams... then that means... he's dreaming what I usually dream? Shit-'
One blink and everything turned black. All the color were gone. No trees, no flowers, no stars... and no Jaeden.
The real nightmare had began.
"Please... stop", i heard a cry.
"He just feels sorry for your ugly ass"
"...please", they begged.
"You don't deserve him-"
"SHUT UP", i yelled feeling annoyed.
'Jaeden doesn't deserve to hear this. He deserves better'
"You're a loser"
"STOP IT", I screamed louder letting a few tears fall.
'I can't take it anymore', I hugged my knees tightly and cried silently.
"You're a fucking mess"
"Stop it", I cried.
"You're fucked up"
'They're right. I'm so fucked up. Everything about me is fucked up'
"Hello?", I heard behind me.
I turned my head towards the voice and smiled a little bit. "Jaeden?"
"How do you know my name-"
I blinked once again and felt it. 'The fire. All the fire inside me is coming out now. Pain. Once again all I could feel was pain. All those months of ignoring it are coming to me now. Sadness. Madness. Craziness. I'm a psycho. Wait- Jaeden's in here too? He's feeling this too- shit. I need to wake up. I need this to be over. I can't hurt him. He doesn't deserve this. I don't deserve him. Okay. Wake up. Wake up. Wake up! Wake up! WAKE UP! WAKE UP WYATT. JAEDENS IN DANGER'
And just as my mind heard Jaeden's name I opened my eyes.
'Room. My room. My bed. I'm sleeping in the floor, with Jaeden who is sleeping- Jaeden!'
I quickly stood up and shook him.
"Jae?", I said softly.
I heard him whisper softly. "Jae?"
I turned him to face me and saw his tear stained cheeks. His nose was red and his eyes were shut tightly. 'It's like he's hoping to get away from something-'
"Jaeden!", I said louder.
I shook him and squished his hands while holding to them tighter.
"Please wake up Jaeden"
I heard him whimper again. And more tears fell.
"Jaeden wake up!"
I felt some of my tears fall too but quickly wiped them realizing that he was waking up.
I moved his soft hair from his face and smiled staring at his light blue eyes.
'He's so soft-'
"Huh?", he looked around confused.
"Are you okay?"
He shut his eyes and groaned in pain.
"Jae! Are you okay?"
He jumped a bit. I probably scared him.
"I- yes. I'm fine..."
"Are you sure? You're sweating and you were crying?", I said holding his hand for comfort.
"I was?", he touched his face tiredly and gasped softly making me smile a bit.
"Are you feeling okay? Did you have a nightmare?", I ask trying to sound as oblivious as possible.
"My soulmate-", he gasped again while staring at the wall intensely.
"Jae?", I asked nervously.
'Is he okay? What if he knows it's me?'
"I-... I saw my soulmate...", He whispered.
"What?!", i stood up quickly. "Did you see who they were?". 'Shit. He probably knows it's me-'
"No...", he whispered sadly.
"Okay. What did they dream?". 'Phew'
"Th-they are in pa-in Wy... I... I n-need to find th-em", he cried making me break.
"Jae...", I whispered feeling tears swell up in my eyes. I hugged him softly knowing that's what he needed right now.
'This feels so familiar'
He hugged me back tightly and cried.
'I need to protect this boy. I don't care if he rejects me. I don't care if he doesn't want to be my soulmate. He deserves to be cared. And I promise I will always protect him at all costs. Even if it means not telling him that he's my soulmate'
I sighed. "If you don't feel like... like going birdwatching-"
"Wyatt", he pulled away smiling a bit. "I want to go birdwatching"
"Really? Cause it's okay if you don't feel-"
"I'm okay Wyatt, I promise"
He smiled softly.
"Let's go", He said grabbing his bag and walking towards the toilet.
"What are you doing?", i asked.
'Doesn't he wanna cuddle- I mean. How fast was that breakdown? It was like 6 minutes. How-'
"I'm gonna get changed?", he stated the obvious.
"Oh... yeah. Right", i laughed turning around to get my clothes.
"Are YOU okay?", I heard him ask behind me.
I quickly turned around and smiled nervously.
"I'm-I'm fine", I lied.
'Am I okay? What am I even feeling? Why am I suddenly so nervous? It will work. Don't worry'
I smiled and walked out of the room with my clothes.
'He knows I'm lying. What am I even lying about? I hate this feeling. Like I'm gonna throw up. Throw up some colorful butterflies. With every color I saw yesterday in my dream. Is that what he dreams about? Cause if it is. I'm jealous. It's beautiful. He's beautiful. I clearly don't deserve him but he deserves to know the truth. That I'm his soulmate. I don't care if he rejects me... at least I tried right? He must have  realized how messed up I am. How fucked up his soulmate is. I don't think he'll accept me now. I should've told him earlier- no. He would've realized it anyway. Okay. Don't be nervous. You can still be friends. And if he doesn't want to see you anymore then we can move again. Or I'll just- no. Don't think about it. Get your mind off it this instant'
I wiped the tears I didn't know I had and changed my clothes as fast as I could.
Ignoring my thoughts I reminded myself that Jaeden was there too so I should be happy.
I opened the door and ran downstairs hoping he wasn't waiting for me.
"Jae?", I asked looking around.
'He's not here yet. Thank god'
I fixed my hair and my clothes to at least try to look presentable.
'Where is he?'. I ran upstairs and knocked the bathroom's door. Where Jaeden was before I left. "You ready?"
"Almost ready", he said.
"Okay! I'll be downstairs", I walked away.
"Shit", I heard from the bathroom.
I snickered and ran downstairs.
'He's nervous too... at least we have something in common'
"Jaeden?", I yelled a bit worried.
"Coming!", he yelled back.
I heard steps ran downstairs.
Looking up I realized how hot he really was.
'Shit. He looks so hot- I didn't know- how did I not realize how- shit. He's staring. Say something! Say something quick!'
"You look... hot- I mean pretty... you look pretty", 'shit.shit.shit.shit.shit.shit'
I looked down and heard laughing. "You look... pretty too"
I looked up and laughed nervously. 'I'm probably blushing so hard right now'
His cheeks turned a darker color and he smiled back at me grabbing my hand in the process.
"Where to?", he asked smirking.
I smiled feeling my cheeks heat up once again.
"To the park"
He nodded smiling. "To the park it is"