Ignoring Reality

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2013

I am aware that I am stupid.
I have allowed wild dreams to sneak into my ears and crawl into my brain.
And yet I dream while I am ignoring the truth.
I know we can't be together.
In my soul and spirit and heart. I know this well.
But I ache.
I wholeheartedly ache for you, 
While my hands tend to shake when I know you are close to me.

But the truth has also crawled in
And yet, stupidly, my mind is telling me I love you.
And maybe after all these years I have loved you.
But why do I choose to ignore reality?
The common sense that speaks back to me clearly -
It says that you certainly don't feel the same.

And yet here I am,
Thinking about you.
As I always do,
And maybe always will.
I'm praying you won't always have my heart in your hands.
Because you aren't even aware that you've been holding it.

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