When my dad got to me, i noticed he was drunk and as soon as he was in my front he slapped me and said
" you slut, where have you been you were supposed to be back an hour ago"
Before i could reply, he dragged me by my hair and threw me to the floor.
" You are worthless, i am ashamed to call you my daughter" he kicked me
" I'm sure you have slept with half of the boys in your school already"
he slapped and kicked me then threw me to the stairs and said " get out of my sight before i throw you myself"
With the little energy in me i ran to my room and locked the door just in case he decided to hit me more.
I went to the toilet and cleaned my injuries before deciding to write a poem in my book.
I got to my bag and searched everywhere, I could not find it.
Oh no no no no no no, I felt a panic attack coming on someone was going to see it an read it, and that was it, I could not breath. I was on the floor gasping for air, there was nothing I could do I just laid there until I was able to even my breathing then went to bed.
**************************
When i got to school the next day, i got a lot of stares, why? You may ask. Well my jackass of my father still found a way to beat me up and now i was limping and covering the bruises on my face with my hair.
***
It was lunch already and i was sitting with Ella and the twins eating quietly, i couldn't make out what they were saying because i zoned out immediately i got there.
"Vick, are you coming to the meeting today during seventh and eighth period"
"What meeting?"
This time it was Victor that spoke up "it was announced that there will be a meeting during seventh and eighth period" They were looking at each other like they were hiding something, i just shrugged it off and nodded.
*****************
The warning bell had just rang for seventh period and we were making our way to the gym. When we got there, there was only a few people there and as if Victory read my mind She said " they will probably come after the last bell rings"
i nodded and we all got seats in the second row, it was then it clicked that it was only five rows of chairs that was in the gym but before i could ask, a guy that looked like he was in college came up front and said
" hey guys, welcome to bible study, please lets rise for worship. I would like to invite Victory to lead us in worship"
wait.. what bible study.
I turned to Ella and said " i told you i was mot a Christian and God does not exist"
i stood up and tried to leave. Key words tried to leave.
When i got to the door, the guy that announced it was bible study held my wrist and said
" please, stay if you don't like today's session no one will force you to come again" i sighed and nodded then went back to my seat and soon enough i realized that Victory was singing Reckless love by Cory Asbury.
Everybody was in the mood of worship, some on their knees with tears on their faces, some lying on the floor and some jumping.
Not too long after Ella up front and started singing in tongues and others that could speak just stood with their eyes closed or worshiped.
I didn't even realize i was crying until i tasted something salty.
What is this doing to me, i can't go back to the way i was, i would just get hurt again.
Not too long after i zoned out, the guy from earlier on introduced himself as Cole, turns out he is the son of the Teens pastor of this church specially for teenagers. He said they were going to be talking about the love of God, it took everything in me not to scoff.
"God's love is unconditional, no matter what he loves you. In Jeremiah 31; 3 God tells us how his love is everlasting, God knows and cares deeply for us, God knows us deeply and he will give us good things we ask for, He says it in Mathew 7: 8-11. Even when we sin, we can be assured that God still loves us and seeks to bring us back into harmony with Him. However, it is up to us; we can accept or reject God's love. No matter how far our lives have drifted away from God, we must never be discouraged and think we are beyond hope. It says it there in the parable of the lost sheep in Luke 15: 4-7. Nothing you do will ever make God stop loving you." I raised my hand to ask a question which Cole took.
" If God claims to love us, why does he allow bad things to happen to us?"
" you see, God does this for trial, to see if you would stick wit him no matter what happens, just like Job in the bible. He lost everything yet he refused to curse God, It says it in James 1:2-3 " Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness". i nodded my head. but when God did it for Job, he gave him everything back. oh well.
It was not long before school was over and i decided to look for my poem book, nobody can read that book. I did not really know what i thought of he bible study. Everyone was so cheerful, like they had perfect lives. I shrugged it off and went to look for my poem book.
I had been searching for thirty minutes and still found nothing. Tears were already streaming down my face, How else am i going to express how i feel. " are you okay?", i quickly cleaned my face and turned around to see Cole standing there with concern written all over his face.
" No, i lost my poem book and that book is basically part of my life, i express my feeling through writings those poems and now it just disappeared in thin air and now i need to get home before five and it is a thirty minute walk from here but this is already 4:45"
He looked like he knew something then before i knew it, he brought out my poem book from his bag and said " you must be the owner of this book". A wave of anger and relief washed through me though more of anger. I took the book from his hand and asked " how much did you read?"
He sighed and said " only two pages left". I sighed " Never speak a word of it to anyone" and i left, i did not have energy to shout or anything, i just wanted to get home and sleep.
******************************************
Luckily for me, my dad was not home when i got there. I was too tired to think of today's event so i took a cold shower and went to sleep.
I was walking into my old school when i heard whispers.
" she seduced her uncle he slept with him then later accused him of raping her"
" she's such a slut"
" she should crawl into a whole and die"
" hey babe the back of the school at lunch?" a random guy shouted in the hall causing everybody to laugh. Tears were at the verge of falling so i just walked faster to my locker. When i got to my locker, i saw things like ,
" go to hell bitch"
" you don't deserve to live"
" you are a worthless piece of shit" A tear slipped out of my eye and soon everyone was laughing as they came closer and closer and closer.
" AHHHHHHHHH"
*************************
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Happily Ever After
Spiritual" how are you so sure that he loves me? if he loves me where was he when family got broken, where is he every single time that my father hits me, if he truly loves me then he would not have allowed those things to happen" " I can assure you that Go...
