He looked at me with surprise evident on his face before saying " Victoria, you don't have to tell me if you don't want to and i'm sorry about this morning i just really wanted to help you" I shake my head and say " no its fine i want to tell you and i'm sorry for snapping at you this morning it just really isn't my day".
He nodded and gestured for me to sit beside him which i did. Then he said " whenever you're ready you can start" I sighed, well here goes nothing " Every thing started when i was 16, one night my uncle just decided to rape me, it was the worst day of my life. I tried telling my parents but they did not believe me and grounded me saying i was placing a very strong accusation on my uncle. Can you imagine that my parents believed i was lying to get their attention? I blocked everyone out. I was always bullied in school and people always hit me, i was really nothing new to me since it happened since my sophomore year." I was not sure if he was listening to me because i had no looked up from my since i stared, if he was listening to me good for me and if not good for him.
"One day one of the school played Jackson Reed, my biggest bully almost raped me again. I was able to run away and i reported him but he just paid his way out of the problem. Not too long after i came home to my parents yelling at each other, it was strange because the hardly shout at each other heck they never shout at each other. Like the stupid person i was i tried the stop it but it only resulted to my dad hitting me, he did not feel sorry for what he did at all. After that day my parents were hardly ever around and when they were finally around, all they would do was yell at each other. My dad started hitting me at the slightest things like when i forget to make breakfast or when i get home late. I just lost total faith in God, i mean he claims to love me but let all those things happen to me, It was almost like he was sitting on his throne eating popcorn watching me get raped and go through all those things." I was not sure he was listening to me, i looked up to see him searching through his bag then he brought a handkerchief and gave it to me because of my tears. I smiled weakly at him and mumbled a thank you before continuing.
"I prayed for days that something would miraculously happen but nothing ever seemed to change.I just stopped everything, going to church, reading my Bible, everything. We moved recently and i thought it was going to be a new start but i was totally wrong it is just the same old routine, wake up, make breakfast for my dad, go to school, get bullied, get home before 5:00 pm, make dinner for my dad and go to bed. I usually go through my room window to leave and enter the house, i really don't know why i have been deciding to go through the front door lately."
I looked up to see him looking at me intently, he squeezed my knee in assurance, I looked down again and continued " i became really depressed and insecure and that was when i started writing poems and cutting" For the first time since i started talking Cole spoke saying" can i see the poems?" I was hesitant at first but i ended up giving him my poem and said " they are quite a lot i think you should read it after" he nodded and put the book in his bag.
He turned to me and said " God has always loved you Victoria, he never stopped loving you and he is waiting with open arms for you." He paused then said " I cannot give you a reason for why God let those things happen but i can assure you one thing 'God will never let you go through something you cannot handle' he loves you with all his heart."
" how are you so sure that he loves me? if he loves me where was he when family got broken, where is he every single time that my father hits me, if he truly loves me then he would not have allowed those things to happen"
" I can assure you that God has loved you even before you came into this world, if he did not love you, you would be dead by now, God would never let you go through some thing you can't handle, he loves you with every single bit of his heart".
He pulled me in for a hug which i gladly accepted. I cried on his shoulder while he stroked my hair for about ten minutes then finally pulled away. He smiled at me then said " thank you for telling me all that you've told me Vick, know that God loves you and I love you, if you ever need someone to talk to, you know where to find me i will always welcome you. I think you should head to class now but hold on let me give you a slip" He took a slip from his bag and handed it to me. I collected i and said " thank you, for everything" I left and made my way to the bathroom to fix my face.
When i got to the bathroom, i looked into the mirror and sure enough, i looked like a dying raccoon. I sighed and started rubbing under my eyes with a wet face towel i carried with me and put on concealer to cover my bruises. As soon as i finished the bell rung and i left with my head low and started making my way to my next class when i bumped into someone making me fall back. I groaned and looked up to see Ella standing there with a look of worry in her eyes
. "oh my fish Vick i am so sorry" She helped me up and then said " please Vick tell us what is going on, you've been avoiding us for a long time. You know you can talk to us right?" I nodded and sighed, they have been helping me and i know i can trust them. I looked up again and said " you and the twins should meet me in the quadrangle after school, i'll tell you then"
Her face immediately lit up and she nodded her head eagerly before pulling me in for a hug and thanking me then running off. I smiled and walked to class, since i told Cole it has been like a weight was lifted off my shoulders.
I entered science class, gave the teacher my slip and went to sit at the back of the class then zoned out of what the teacher was saying. All i could think off was what Cole said. Was i really ready to give my life to Christ?
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Heyyyyyyy, so there is what happened. Hope you like it. Will she go back to Cole so she can give her life to Christ? what is she going to tell Ella and the twins. Sorry for the errors, my laptop has been acting up. :D
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xoxo vikki_tori_aa.
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Happily Ever After
Spiritual" how are you so sure that he loves me? if he loves me where was he when family got broken, where is he every single time that my father hits me, if he truly loves me then he would not have allowed those things to happen" " I can assure you that Go...
