Roses & Feathers

Chapter VII

~Devils hour~

Michael's P.O.V🍕

I woke up and was a little confused, that it was pitch black outside and that I was surrounded by a lot of arms. It took me a second, to realise, that I was cuddled up to Calum, my head on his shirtless chest and his muscly, tattooed arms tightly wrapped around my thin waist.

I lifted my head a little, to see, that Luke was also cuddling into me, spooning me from behind, with his noodle arms around my waist and his head nuzzled into the back of my neck, breathing slowly.

I freed my arm, that was under Calum's arm, around his waist, to reach over to grab my phone from the bedside table and look how late it is.

3:33 am.

Great, devils hour. Now I'll definitely be able to sleep really tight, with my ghost paranoia. Note the sarcasm.

I decided to go on twitter and tweet something weird and then go on Pinterest and make a photo edit, because I won't be able to go back to sleep, so I can also do something productive. 

'I'm cuddle-squished, between my boyfriend and my best friend. SEND HELP!!!' , was what I tweeted, before I looked for some good photos of Cal and me, and then some cute, pink coloured aesthetics to fill the spaces between the pictures.

It took me about half an hour to find the perfect photos and then another fifteen minutes, to make the edit, because I had to place the photos perfectly, add filters to make them look softer, adjust some pictures, because the filter made look too bright, to fit with the rest, but in the end, I was really satisfied with the outcome.

(Picture credit by me)

I decided to do another of Luke, Calum and me, which took an hour to find perfect pictures, because they were too silly or won't fit to the theme, which I chose for the edit and again fifteen minutes, to adjust everything.

(Picture credit by greenduff)

By the time, I  posted them on Instagram it was 5:38 am, so I had about an hour left until I have to wake Calum. 

I'm actually glad, that he decided, that I could stay home with Luke, because there is no way in hell, that I manage to go through the day, with just three hours of sleep. I'd fall asleep somewhere throughout the day in one of my classes and then I'd get yelled at again. Yesterday was enough for me to be honest.

I was brought out of my thoughts, by my phone buzzing. I looked at it, seeing that someone retweeted something on my tweet.

@ashtonirwin : Kiss your boyfriend awake and ask him to move over, or push your best friend out of the bed.

I quietly laughed at that and actually thought about it, but decided to not do it, because 1. Calum would be grumpy, for being woken up, before he had to and 2. it is Luke's bed so I can't push him out of his own bed.

I thought if I should reply and then thought about what to reply, and settled with something like me.

↪@mikey_cliffoconda : Nah mate can't do that, don't wanna deal with grumpy cat and Mr. This-Is-My-Bed. He would never play video games, with me, if I'd push him out of his own bed and that would suck big time.

I decided on reading some Fan Fictions on Wattpad for a while, in hope to finally finish reading this Larry book.

Yes I read One Direction books and this is not very punk rock, but they're really good written and cute, so sue me. Everyone loves Larry. 

They're the most famous gay soulmate couple and they made it in the music industry, despite having to deal with many homophobic managers and record labels. This band and especially this couple, gives me hope, that we will be successful like them one day, despite being gay.

It's a shame how many homophobic people are still out there, despite it being the 21st Century. 

Take my parents for example. They always loved me to the moon and back, and I loved them too. They would occasionally make some weird comments, when they saw two boys holding hands, walking through the mall or stuff like that, but me being a naive 10 year old, would never think about them being homophobic. How could I, when I didn't know what sexuality is back then.

It all changed three years later, when I found out, that I was gay. 

Luke, Calum and I were chasing each other through Luke's garden, with Ben and Jack throwing water balloons on us. Calum abruptly turned around, to run in the other direction because Ben was there with a huge water balloon.

I was directly behind Calum, so when he turned around we crashed together and fell to the ground, me on top of him and our faces only inches apart. I really don't know why I did what I did, but I thought it was a good idea to kiss him, so I pressed my thin, chapped lips on his plump soft ones, without thinking twice. 

It only lasted three seconds, but when I pulled away, we were both blushing like mad and Calum grinned like a fool. We never mentioned it again, but we also never regretted it, which I was thankful for, 'cause I actually can't imagine how cruel my life without him would be, if that one kiss would have crushed our friendship.

I thought it was perfect, sweet and completely okay, but my parents, majorly disagreed.

My mum saw, that I kissed Calum and screamed and yelled at me for an hour, when we were back home, telling me how wrong it is and that it is a sin to be in a relationship with someone your own gender. I was scared and sad, but she never could get the image, of my kiss with Calum being wrong in my head.

How could something, that makes you feel all giddy and mushy and warm and tingly inside be so wrong, that it is a sin? 

The moment, my mum yelled at me how wrong it was and I thought how right it was, made me realise, that I was gay. And I would lie, if I'd say that I regret, what I said to my mum after she stopped yelling. Sure it made my life a lot harder, but it gave me something, what no one can take away from me. It gave me pride.

"It's okay, to be gay. It feels right to kiss a boy. For me it was the best feeling ever, to kiss Calum, and I certainly do not regret, kissing him. I'd do it again, if I could turn back time and I definitely kiss him again, if he wants to, because it feels so good and right." , was what 13 year old me said very confidentially and I never cared about the smack across my face it brought with it.

Shaking off my thoughts, I started reading, to pass the time.