Mixed Signals

Nostalgia

Maryam's pov

"MARYAM" my dad's voice echos throughout the living room catching me off guard. The whole living room goes silent and I'm left rooted at the same spot.
"What is this all about? Why do you to be so impulsive and so rude
like you mother?" My dad has never spoken to me like this and to bring my mom into this is too far. I feel like I'm about to cry of shame and anger. I could deal with anyone being mad at me heck I'll say I don't care what anyone says but my dad bringing up my mom's bad trait and comparing me to her that too right in front of Saihou is just too low. Just in that moment Latif starts to cry and I just stood there looking at my dad dead in the eye without wavering.
"Dad?" It came out more like a question than anything else and I can feel my voice break with weakness that I try to bury deep within me. Maybe I'm not so strong after all. This really got to me and today is such a shitty ass day.

I stood there for a good two minutes and my dad got up and left grabbing a confused Latif with his tablet in hand towards the direction of his room. I hear his door slam right behind him and not to sound dramatic or anything but I felt that right in my chest. Saihou and I were there in complete silence and if he wasn't here I'll just break down and cry. I looked over at Saihou and he just sat there looking at me
"Are you happy now?" I questioned him trying to take my anger on him but to be fair it is his fault that all this happened
"Maryam I'm so sorry, you know I would never intend for things to go this way."He said with all sincerity
"Exatly what do you intend to happen huh? That I'll just get up and follow you like I always do? I have never seen him like this and it's all your fucking fault" I said to him honestly. Now more than ever I need someone to talk to and I hate that I only have the one that got me into this mess is the same person standing right in front of me with sympathetic eyes.
"You want to talk about it" he said carefully
"What else is there to talk about? You saw everything didn't you?" I said to him. Is he dumb?
"Yeah I did but keeping things to yourself only makes you feel worst and I'm here to listen" I says
"Are you fucking kidding me right now. If it wasn't for you my dad would never have yelled at me. If it wasn't for you bringing your girlfriend or whoever the fuck she is to you I would not have flirted with your friend. If it wasn't for you calling me a slut I would not have stormed off so don't come at me with that bullshit" I spat angrily at him
"She is not my girlfriend okay. She is just a childhood friend that I wanted you to meet because I like you" he said and replaced by anger is relief. I sat down lost for words.

Saihou just admitted to me that he likes me and why now of all times and why do I feel happy and why I'm I so dumb? .
"You like me?" I questioned not because I doubt him but because I want to hear him say it all over again
"Yes Maryam I like you even thou  you are so annoying and crazy at times" he says and I find myself smiling. What is wrong with me?. Maybe I'm bipolar one minute I'm frustrated and the next I'm smiling like am possessed.
"So what now?" I asked. I hope he asks me to be his girlfriend. Again what is wrong with you Maryam?
"I don't know I didn't think this through. Let's just remain friends I guess and see how it goes" He says. What the actual fuck now I feel so like a dumb idiot. Why do I always get ahead of myself.
"Exactly I can't say I see myself dating you anyway" I say to him trying to mask  my disappointment and I just hope he doesn't see through my facade.
"So we'll talk later I have some explaing to do all thanks to you" I said jokingly trying to uplift the mood and make him leave so I can cringe alone and think of how I will talk to my dad.
"Okay I will call you in the evening" he says
"Okay" I answer and face-palm myself

Saihou's pov
I got in my car and all I can think about is how I missed a perfect opportunity to make Maryam my girlfriend and end all this craziness. I know I like her and I know I'll tell her one day. I just didn't expect it to be today of all days when he dad yells at her talking about her mom like that. I saw the hurt in her eyes and I just wanted to confort her and make her feel alright. I ended up blurting to her that I like her. I'll get my chance I always do but before then I have to make sure no one has a chance with her because no one deserves her.

I got to my house and went straight to my room locking my door behind me before my mom would notice my presence. Just when I thought I was off the hook she comes knowing at my door
"Saihou are you in there? Can I come in?" she throws a questions that I consider rhetorical at me.
"Ma please I'm tired and I'm not in the mood" i said to her
"Where did you go to? I prepared lunch today. Do you want some? " she questions
"No Ma I'm not hungry. I want to sleep please" I said to her
"Okay when you wake up we can talk about it okay?" She says I don't think she realise that I'm not a kid anymore
"Okay close the door please" she closed the door behind her and sigh

I turned on my wifi and the first message I see is from Binta. It's a video that she made of us when we were together with a little message attached to it 'I miss us' and a feeling of nostalgia hits me hard. I played the video over and over again without responding to her message. I turned on fifa to blow off steam. I wanted to talk to Maryam and at the same time I want to call Binta too.

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Special dedication

Kajata girl thanks for always reminding me to update. I love you❤️❤️