𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐉𝐄𝐂𝐓 𝐖𝐈𝐋𝐃𝐅𝐋𝐎𝐖𝐄𝐑⁰¹ʰᵉᵐᵐⁱⁿᵍˢ✓

²³fat black truths in denial city

clementine

I sit in front of Luke, my legs squatted under me as I hold Darth in my arms. Luke's across me with his phone in his hand, clicking away to the song he wanted to play.

It's seven am and I've been shown two unreleased songs already. What a life.

After breakfast, he said he wanted to show me a song the band finished. I could sense the nerves on him by the way he awkwardly glanced to and from me and the way his voice shook.

I don't understand why he could be nervous playing me something. He did so the night before, so I don't see the difference.

But he took his phone and sat on the couch, trying to search through his messages where the song was. Once he got it down, he swallowed a breath and cleared his throat.

"Nervous?" I ask and he nods, avoiding my eyes. "Mind if I ask why?"

He shrugs, playing with his fingers. "This song's kind of a..." He trails off and I can tell he's hesitant about what he wants to say. "It's sort of about this girl, I barely know her, but she's..."

I feel my stomach dropping at his words.

He looks at me and my heart aches at the admiration in his blue eyes. "I really like her,"

"Oh," is all I can muster out of me. I'm stupid for pining over some unreachable man when he's so clearly all over this girl he's writing songs about. I'd ask who this girl is but I couldn't further hurt myself that way.

He looks back at his phone and clicks on something before setting it between us.

He's looking intensely at me as if scoping for some heightened reaction. Does he expect me to swoon or cry? I could very well do both just for him but I'm too taken by the fact that this song in its entirety is about some girl I wish to be. And he's right there looking at me. I can only hope he doesn't see right through me.

The song starts and I already love it. Then he starts to sing. "You've got a million reasons to hesitate," He sings and I feel as though I might break. His voice is absolutely heavenly and it's all for her.

The words he sings doesn't translate to me as something that makes the song, but sort of a confession to this girl - a confession of his adherence to her, his promise of the best years for her, and such grand songs from his heart to her.

It's not a song but a letter of soul-sewn ardour.

To sing about her like this, that she took care of him when he couldn't do the same for her made me realise I truly don't have the right to be wedging in.

The song finishes, leaving us in silence, just Darth's purring coming to sound.

What do I say? That I wish them happiness? I don't. I mean, I do, but at the same time, I don't - for my sake. But then I'd be selfish, wouldn't I?

"What do you think?" He asks and I have to shake off tears.

I bring a smile and give him an encouraging nod. "It's a really great song, Luke,"

He smiles, taking his phone away and clicking away to something.

I clear my throat, wanting nothing else than to forget what just happened. "So, uh, tell me something about the album," He looks up at me. "I already asked that before but tell me something else,"

He puts down his phone and leans back on the couch, facing the ceiling and thinking of something. "Um... okay, I'll have to call the songs something though but... okay - the first song we wrote was Sand," He turned to me, a grin on him.