R i d e | a dialogue story

[25] No white, please

a/n: y'all gonna hate me for this. okay enjoy. please listen to the song while reading. TW!!!

Kati tried not to cry. Something heavy pressed against her chest. Tears streamed down her cheeks, dripping onto her dress.

"No white, please, Kats." Kati choked, her crooked smile appearing in her mind. She was heaving, breathlessness catching up with her. She fell to the ground, broken glass cutting her knees. Her hands were on her mouth, the paper in her hands soaking wet.

Marissa Eves lay on her bedroom floor, choked with tears. She sobbed, screaming out in pain. It was a guttural scream. 

Hey, Kati. I know you're gonna see this. You're gonna be the first one to see this, anyways. Please don't get it wet with your tears? Haha. Look, I'm funny even from the beyond. 

Her eyes were glassy. Her t-shirt soaked. She coughed and sputtered, wiping her cheeks.

You're gonna tell me I'm stupid, and I'm an idiot for leaving you. And I am. I swear I am. I'm so, so stupid. But I'm so alone, Kati. I'm so, so alone. I've always been alone. 

Her hands went up to her hair, pulling hard, pain forming on her face. She screamed, hurt and wounds she tried to hide for so long showing themselves. 

I know you're gonna say that you're right here. And I know you are. You've always been. But I'm gonna hurt you. Eventually, everyone I come into contact with gets hurt. I'm not the untouchable, cool person you know, Kati. How many times have I lied to you that I am? 

She fell to the ground, heartbreaking sobs falling from her cut lips. Her eyes were bruised, blood oozing from wounds on her cheeks. 

Rose taught me something really important. It's funny. She's so sweet. But she fell out of love. I don't think she was ready. So, she left me last night. Just like everyone else. I'm alone in this world, Kati. I always will be. Before we broke up, we got into a huge argument. She told me that I was worthless. I loved her, Kats. And I loved Clary. Every single one of the friends I had who left.

She wiped the blood from her lips, sniffling. 

I got into another fight, Kati. Well. Just now, actually. I'm pretty bruised up right now. But I'm sure you'll see that later. I was drinking. And I guess they tried to take advantage of a drunken, easy girl. Put up a good fight, I'd say.

She put a finger on her cut cheek. It stung. She recoiled in pain. 

Almost got me, actually. I made it out, though. You know me, I always do. It was funny, though. They told me exactly what I was. And honestly, Kati, nothing you say will ever make me think differently. I'm gonna be forgotten. I don't have an influence on this world. I am nothing. Absolutely nothing. 

She walked, slowly to a table. She lifted a pen and began to write. Tears trickled down her cheeks. How many times had she felt exactly like this? Too many to count.

Kati, I was doing so well for so long. So well. And you helped. So much. I love you, Kats. I will always love you. Maybe not in the ways you think. Maybe I love you more than you know. But I guess nothing comes from that, huh? Kati, I'm sorry. Honestly, I am. And I know I'm an asshole for doing this. 

She was saying her goodbyes.

But I can't do this anymore. No one's even gonna care when I'm gone, Kati. 

She was saying her goodbyes. 

Bye, button. Remember the flowers. No white, please, Kats. I hate white. Don't wear white either. I know it's supposed to be hopeful, but honestly it's just bland. Oh. Get them to wear rainbow. That would be nice. 

She smiled, putting the letter in an envelope.

"Please remember me."

Marissa Eves, beautiful, confident, Marissa. She had finally broke. Her shatters fell to the ground, along with the glass bottle she dropped. Marissa Eves fell to the ground, her eyes glazed, a single tear dripping down her face. She was a beautiful sight. Blood caking her lips, bruises on her face, tearstained cheeks rosy red. Marissa Eves was a happy person. 

But happy people break sometimes.