Kala bears, wicked mutations of Australia's koala bears (marsupials), are on the rise.
Humans were destroying the koala's whole world, their trees. They were powerless to resist until, under pressure, a mutation occurred. Their eyes went from brown...
We made our way through Evil Winnie's dripping corpse gallery and at last, Green Dog asked the question on all our minds.
"Mr Evil, might I ask. Do you have somewhere we can go that doesn't stink?"
Evil Winnie replied.
"of corse ms dog. my sory. wher my manners."
Turns out Evil is quite charming when you get to know him. Commander Winnie wasn't having a bar of it though. He kept punching Evil in the back of the head and starting up more fights.
In the end Gold Eye grabbed the Commander by the scruff of the neck and gave him a good shaking.
Ha!
Don't see that too often.
Evil Winnie led us into a huge crystal chamber. The glow crystals rushed ahead, all excited, seeking the best vantage points to light up the sparkling wonder.
We were now in the very heart of the mountain and though Evil had corrupted the rest of the Sirius, the heart remained pure.
The floor of the cavern was smooth rock, like polished agate. It was also highly luminous. Well spooky.
Clear crystals, with rainbow retractions from the roaming glow crystals, emerged from the white quartz walls.
Each crystal, when tapped, emitted a tight beam of light and sang a single note. Every note was different and every note harmonised.
We wandered around, touching off crystals, creating our own song and light show. A crystal symphony of sound and vision.
Evil Winnie leaned against a wall and yawned.
Eventually Gold Eye raised his head and howled. Whoa, creeps me out when he does that. The symphony immediately ceased.
As the echo of Gold Eye's howl receded we heard a scuffle behind us. The glow crystals swung around and spotlighted Commander Winnie, in a corner, throttling Evil.
Gold Eye snarled at him. Winnie, grumbling, let Evil go and stomped on his foot instead. So Gold Eye nipped him on the ear.
Winnie howled. He sat down, holding his ear and sulking.
We joined him, settling ourselves on the blue floor. All except Evil Winnie. Evil surveyed the room, gave an exaggerated bow and addressed the company.
"helo everbody. im am evil and im am ver hapy for see you al her."
Thus began the great debate.
Note: As is our custom when clarity is important, we shall render both Evil's and the Commander's words into proper English.
"Friends, I am here to tell you that you are deceived.
"Fat guts over there, Commander (pfft) Winnie, would have you believe he's some kind of "holy bear". (Evil flapped his paws to indicate conversation marks.)
"Some kind of (flap flap) "Care Bear Guru". He fills his head with this fantasy.
"He tries to convince you he's special with his party tricks, like air running and emanating multiple bodies.
"Pfft. Any Winnie can do that. I do it myself when I have a lot of killing to get through.
"He doesn't need to do that stuff. It's just that he's so insecure, so pointless, so desperate for your approval, that he all the time tries to impress you. 'Oh, what a clever bear.'
"Sad really. And you good people fall for it. You want so much to believe, you empower the little shit. Which is exactly what he craves.
"Without your worship, without your obedience, he's left face to face with what he really is.
"A pointless, pathetic, stuffed corduroy lump. A child's toy desperately clinging to the nursery days when he meant something."
Neil: Well, clearly Evil is not impressed with our Winnie.
Ben: Kick him in the nuts Winnie.
Neil: 😀
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