Lacuna [Book 2]

five

five; she loves you

"I need a break. I don't even know what the hell I'm doing." I stated looking down at files and then the phone rang before Hotch could say anything- and I mentally thanked whoever called.

"Okay, sir. I looked to see if there were any connections between the 3 teens and I found nothing- except the fact they went to the same school. Lyman High School." She said and I groaned shaking my head.  "How the hell are we supposed to find out who did this if we got nothing?" I asked making it seem like I was talking to myself but I was really talking to Hotch. He thanked Penelope and hung up. I sat back down and looked through the file again.

And out of nowhere Hotch spoke. "Jack misses you." He said and I breathed in and coughed, clearing my throat. "Oh, that's- nice...?" I said trailing off and he tilted his head. "I do too." He said and I moved my head in his direction- but not making contact eye with him.

"Hotch-" I said and he sighed. "Hadley. I don't blame you for what happened." He said and I looked down. "I do. I blame myself. I told you that I'd protect Hayley and Jack. I failed. I left Jack motherless." I said and he furrowed his eyebrows.

"And Jack's alive-" He said and I cut him off, yelling. "But Hayley and Adeleine aren't!" I snapped and he just stared at me. I shook my head and got up. "Had-" He said and I cut him off. "I need some air." I said and walked out of the station.

3rd Person POV

Spencer had finished with the Medical Examiner, and now he and Rossi where waiting in the car while Tony had finished doing some other stuff. Spencer looked over from the passenger's side and spoke to Rossi, asking him the one question he was dying to get out.

"How's Hadley?" He asked and Rossi looked over at him, knowing that the question was coming. "Well she believes she's okay. At home, she puts on a smile, cooks, cleans, helps with Gemma. But she isn't." He said and Spencer clenched his jaw, not wanting the tears to spill out.

"She loves you, kid." He said and Spencer shook his head. "She does. This is- She just needs some time to feel like herself and to feel wanted around here again. I mean, you saw the look when she found out Tony took her spot for the 8 months she was gone." He said and Spencer sniffled and looked down.

"Does she talk about them?" He asked- talking about Hayley and Adeleine and Rossi shook his head, looking out the windshield.

"No. Gemma doesn't bring it up. I don't. We both try to avoid their names, at dinner, lunch, weekends." He said and Spencer shook his head. "Has any of her patterns change?" He asked and Rossi shrugged.

"Some. She won't eat like she used to. She goes to bed early, wakes up later. Gemma said she heard her grunting the other night. I-" He said and Spencer turned towards him.