French translations in the A/N at the end
May 22, 2020 -Miami, Florida
Cara POV
"Woo hoo! It's friday! Another week closer to summer!"
"A summer in which we will all be forced to stay home because COVID-19."
"Yeah, yeah, way to be a total buzzkill Keanu."
It's been a little over 2 weeks since the whole Cruz/Kalani fiasco. They're doing their thing and Lucía and I have been giving them tips. She texted him and he actually accepted the torture pla- I mean trials that her and Lucía came up with.
I say accepted, but he really doesn't know what the 'trials' are, and he doesn't know what he's getting himself into. He could literally breath wrong and down goes his chances with Kalani. I'm sure he'll make it though, I have faith in him.
Meanwhile, I've been talking to Alyx more while still giving Keanu my attention. A part of me feels bad because Keanu and I have actually drifted a little these two weeks since I've been skipping some night calls to have conversations with Alyx.
This whole thing is really confusing me. When I talk to Alyx the conversations aren't as interesting as they are with Keanu, but I feel this sense of security, like if I fall, Alyx will be there to catch me, you know? He's dependable and a really great guy but... I don't know, I feel like I'm doing something wrong by talking to him more instead of talking to Kean. He's fun to talk to and smart, so why would this be wrong?
When I talk to Keanu on the other hand there's no security, but... that's what makes it fun. I feel so happy and carefree when talking to him. I don't hear the tiny voice in my head telling me that this is wrong when I talk to him, but I don't even like Keanu, so it doesn't matter. Keanu and I are just friends. It's probably me being nervous about liking Alyx. I'm probably just overthinking it.
"So enlighten me babygirl, why have you been skipping out on our calls recently?"
"Why? Somebody lonely?"
"Of course, my nights are ever so quiet without your beautiful voice yelling at me through the phone screen."
"Yeah, yeah, yeah."
"So... what's up?"
"Does it really matter?"
"I told you about the girl that texted me, why can't you tell me what's going on with you?"
I sighed, "Fine, this guy has been texting me. Alyx. I met him in the beginning of the semester. He's nice. He's funny. He's... cute." I hesitated before saying the last part of that sentence.
"Alyx... Alyx... how's it spelled?"
"A-L-Y-X."
"Ohh... that Alyx. He's so shy. He texted you?"
"Yep."
"It wasn't the other way around?"
"Nope."
He cleared his throat before saying anything else, "Well... do you like Alyx?"
"Well of course I like Alyx." I rolled my eyes at him and smirked. He wasn't smiling. He always smiles at my jokes...
"I meant as more than a friend Cara."
"I dunno... I guess." I couldn't look him in the eye. Admitting that made me feel like I was betraying him almost.
"Oh..."
"Yeah..."
"Well... have fun talking to Alyx." His voice was rough. He sounded... mad?
"What, are you leaving?"
"Yeah. You have your little Alyx to talk to don't you? You don't need me."
"What are you talking about Keanu? I'm talking to you right now, not Alyx." Why was he mad? I didn't do anything wrong.
"Yeah, well you've blown me off for Alyx countless times so this is no different. Actually I'm telling you to go talk to him."
"Why are you so mad!? You're the one who asked."
"Look, it doesn't matter. God I don't even know why I blew off Echo for you when you obviously aren't doing the same for me."
"What do you mean you blew off Echo for me? Keanu, please."
"No Cara, don't look at me like that... I can't believe you somehow haven't caught on yet. Whatever I... I'll talk to you later."
"Wait Keanu-"
"Bye."
And then he was gone.
•~•~•
Me
Alyx if I told you right now that I liked you what would you do?
Alyx 🤓😎
Uhh, well is that a hypothetical question or...
Me
Just answer the question Alyx.
Alyx 🤓😎
Well, I'd start getting to know you better. Talking to you even more often than we do now.
Me
You wouldn't ask me out?
Alyx 🤓😎
No, I'd take things slow. Eventually I would, but not right away.
Aww, that's sweet. Keanu probably would've asked me to have sex with him on the spot.
Me
And what about when we started dating? What would you do then?
Alyx 🤓😎
Well I wouldn't wait to hold your hand that's for sure, but I would wait for everything else. I wouldn't want to kiss you until the 2 month mark probably, maybe later, I'd wait until 2 weeks to hug you. I just don't want to go too fast.
See, look at that. Keanu would probably have shoved me against a wall on the first day and made out with me.
Me
What about sex Alyx?
Alyx 🤓😎
Well... I'm not really comfortable talking about that.
Yeah well we all know Keanu is.
Me
Please Alyx?
Alyx 🤓😎
Well... I'm waiting for sex. If we get married, after we get married. It's what my parents want and what I want.
Yeah well Keanu says he's waiting for the one, but he could've been lying. About a lot of things actually.
Me
And I'm guessing there's no way I can change your mind?
Alyx 🤓😎
No not really.
Me
Well I guess I've made my decision.
Yep I'm gonna go through with Alyx's 10 year relationship plan!
Alyx 🤓😎
Oh really?
Me
Yep!
Alyx 🤓😎
What about?
Oh who am I kidding?
Me
Alyx, if you thought we were going to be anything more than friends I'm sorry to tell you that won't be happening. I... I like someone else.
Alyx 🤓😎
Yeah, figures. We can still be friends though, right?
Me
We were always friends Alyx
Alyx 🤓😎
Right. Anyway good luck with your... someone else.
Me
Thanks. I'll try :)
So after that conversation I've come to the revelation that I'm an absolute idiot. Kean is nothing like what I tried to make him as in my mind. He is nothing like the guy I made up trying to make Alyx sound better. Kean wouldn't wanna have sex with me on the spot. I know he's not like that. He would take things slow but not 10 year plan slow. He'd be nice and gentle and he'd be a great boyfriend. He'd be able to have an educated conversation with me without making that all it is. An educated conversation. He'd make things fun with his jokes and entertaining and adventurous because that's the type of person he is... but I just ruined everything, didn't I? He wasn't lying about anything. I was trying to make him out to be the guy I thought he was before, but he isn't. He's sweet and kind and thoughtful and funny and really hot and... I have the biggest crush on him.
I guess we really aren't 'just friends', are we?
Dieu, je suis stupide.
•~•~•
A/N
Hey guys!
For starters I wanna say that for anyone who thought that it was weird that Kean and Cara immediately got into virginity on their first conversation, that was supposed to show the connection they had from the beginning. It's like they trusted each other without even really knowing each other and that's why Cara freaked in the beginning. This is to show you that obviously her and Alyx don't have that same immediate connection. I'm pretty sure you've had a connection like that with someone before, maybe not a 'potential partner' but I bet it's happened.
Also for anyone who didn't know Alyx is just a different spelling of Alex. It's pronounced the same.
French Translations
-'Dieu, je suis stupide.' ~ God, I am stupid
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Later bxbes <3
S y d.
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