The Quaranteens: Stuck

• 21 ~ Moving On •

August 2, 2020 -Miami, Florida
Cara POV

I definitely wasn't okay.

Keanu kept texting me and it got to the point where I had to block him which I really didn't wanna do because not blocking him made it feel like it wasn't forever, even though it was.

I hadn't gotten any happier since the... well it wasn't a breakup... the fight? It wasn't a fight either really though. Whatever it was, I was still recovering from it. I assumed I'd get over it before the first day of school, but unfortunately my first day of school is tomorrow.

I didn't even have the energy to pick a cute outfit, Lucy did that for me. She's a real lifesaver. I dunno what I'd be doing right now if it weren't for her and Kalani.

I don't think either of them agree with my decision, but they do support me. Honestly at this point I don't even know if I agree with my own decision, but it's too late for that now. Kalani told me last night that Keanu and Echo are a thing now so any and all dreams I may or may not have had are down the drain. It's safe to say that I cried last night instead of sleeping, He's moved on. Eventually I have to as well.

There is one thing I do have going for me! I'm amazing at pretending I'm okay when I'm not. So at least if Keanu see's me in the hallway he won't know that I'm probably trying with every ounce of my being not to cry.

I will be okay eventually. I will

I will. 

•~•~•

I can't do this. I can't do this. How could I have possibly thought that I was okay? That I could go to school without bursting into tears?

I'm in my shower getting ready for the first day and I'm crying my eyes out. This is going to be such an awful day.

I got out of the shower and put on the outfit that Lucía chose for me. It was actually pretty cute. It was a dark gray shirt under a flannel, topped off with ripped jeans and high top converse. I couldn't find the laces for one side so I just some from another one of my shoes. 

"Hey my girl! How're you feeling today?" My mom said as I came to get my breakfast.

She knows basically what happened with Keanu, but doesn't know that I'm still super sad. She knows that I'm not over it, but she doesn't know that I haven't improved at all.

"Better!" I hate lying to my mom but I can't have her worrying about me. She's been trying to find a new job recently because they fired her from her job after COVID started. My dad works from home either way, so he still provides but my mom hates sitting at home doing nothing. I can't have her worrying about me on top of that.

"That great! Well since you got your driver's license you can drive our old car to school." She threw me the keys. Woah I totally forgot about that!

"Thanks mommy!" I grabbed my bag and called Lucía. While waiting for her to answer I climbed into the driver's seat of my parents old 2013 Kia Soul. It had a few years on it but still worked perfectly fine.

"Hey girl what's up?"

"Do you want a drive to school?"

"From your mom? Yes, duh!"

"Nope. From me!"

"Oh my god I forgot you had your license! Yes let's go!"

I quickly arrived at Lucía's house and she got in.

"Hey babe how are you doing?"

"Not much better but it's whatever." I shrugged

"Aww Cara..."

"Nope! Not talking about it! Let's go."

She laughed and we were off.

When we got to school I was in a better mood. Lucía and I jammed out to music and I felt content for the first time in a month.

But then I saw Echo and Keanu holding hands walking into school and broke down in my car. Lucía was confused at first but followed my line of sight and quickly understood.

"Man I can't use my usual 'he's a jerk' lines because you're the one who... you know."

"Yeah don't you think I know that!" I yelled at her in between sobs.

"I'm sorry." I said after a while of her rubbing my back. "I shouldn't have yelled. It's not your fault, it's mine. I'm the dumb one."

"Cara you did what you thought was right."

"It was an impulsive and stupid decision."

"What?" I hadn't told her what I'd been thinking lately. That I regretted my decision. That if I could go back and redo it all I would. But I can't. It's too late. No use talking about it now.

"You heard me. Let's go."

"Wait Cara-"

I got out of the car and shut the door before she could continue, but she wasn't going to let this go that easy.

She got out of the car and started yelling at me, "Don't you think we should talk about this?"

I kept on walking. All the way into the school and down a random hallway.

"Cara, come on! You can't just ignore me like this, we need to talk!"

I grabbed her and pulled her to the side. "Talk about what Lucy? That I still like him? That I regret I didn't do what I did? I don't see anything to talk about. He's off with Echo and he's moved on. I just need to figure out how to do the same."

I stormed off and went to find my first class. Hopefully this day will get better.

•~•~•

I really need to stop hoping for things. 

Keanu was in 5 of my classes! 5! And 2 out of those 5 Echo was in as well. So in two classes today I had to force myself not to ball my eyes out. And the other 3 I had to force myself not to pounce on him and beg for forgiveness. The weirdest thing is I haven't had classes with Keanu for 3 years! Then senior year, 12th grade, the grade where I want to avoid him the most, we have more than half our classes together. It's that great?

How was I supposed to survive like this? Too many emotions at one time. My body can't handle it.

I belly flopped onto my bed and had my routine 3:00 crying session. After that I started working on my first piece of homework of senior year.

Everything sucks.

Hey best friend. Are you mad at me? -L

Lucy and I usually don't have classes together, and I ate lunch in the library today so it makes sense that she thinks I'm mad at her. I gave her a ride home, but it was a silent one.

No of course not, I'm just confused. Sorry I yelled at you. -C

It's okay, you're hurting, I understand. Just please listen to me sometimes, I'm here to help ya know? -L

Yeah, yeah thanks bestie. -C

Anytime! Now how about we get in a group call with Kalani and cheer you up? -L

I would want nothing more or less. -C

•~•~•

A/N

Hey guys! 

Sorry I've been M.I.A. for a while, I've been reading a lot more lately. 

5 more chapters and then we're done!! I honestly really loved writing this book and I really hope you all enjoyed it as well! I'm already thinking of ideas for the next book so get ready!

No translations today :)

Please comment and vote if you enjoyed! <3

Bye babes

S y d.