Breathless...

𝗜 𝗰𝗮𝗻'𝘁 𝗳𝗶𝗻𝗱 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘃𝗮𝗺𝗽𝗶𝗿𝗲

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𝗦𝗶𝗺𝗼𝗻'𝘀 𝗣𝗢𝗩

I slowly open my eyes, yawning as the sun glares at me through the open window between my bed and Baz's. Drudging over to our bathroom, I notice that Baz isn't in the en suite. Where is that vampire. . . Huh, I s'pose he already left for breakfast, I know I'd do anything to get fresh sour cherry scones with butter melting in my mouth first thing in the morning.

             I s'pose that's weird though since Baz never wakes up before me. He usually just whines (such a prat) and pulls his covers up over his head as soon as the sun rises (His annoyingly perfect black hair splayed over the pillowcase, shining, bathing in the sun's rays. He looks like a fucking princess.) and stays buried in there until I'm on my third helping of scones.

            He might be off plotting in the Catacombs though. . . I s'pose I'll go look for him later, right after I eat all the scones Cook Pritchard can bake.

            I love scones. They're so good I even dream about them. All the time. The only other thing I think about or dream 'bout as much is. . . Well, it's Baz. But that's only because he could be plotting to kill me.

           What if he makes me choke on scones?!

           I bet that's his plan. He must have spelled the scones so delicious I'll die, or used his alliance with Cook Pritchard to add poison in them! (And yes, Cook adores that git. Fucker. I've never even seen him eat the food she makes! Nobody values it like I do!)

          When I finally reach the bustling Dining Hall I look for my favorite person, who is now Penelope, and not the woman making food, such perfect food. .  . because Cook Pritchard has been demoted for possibly-plotting.

           I spot Penny at our usual spot in the middle of the dining hall. (I don't actually spot Penny so much as I spot a plate piled up with scones lathered in butter.) If Baz saw me drooling right now he would just roll his eyes and call me an animal—he's such a tosser. I'm so glad he's not here.

          Where the fuck is he anyway?

          Crowley, he's so precious. . .

           I mean, pretentious! (Penny forced me to read a dictionary; says it'll help me cast spells better.) (I think she needs to be demoted as well. . .)

           "Merlin, Simon," Penny chuckles, interrupting my thoughts of Baz, "You're practically drooling! Who's on your mind?" She waggles her brows. I don't know if she's expecting me to say Agatha, because she's my girlfriend.

             Baz. . . "Heaven'z snakez, Mizz Bunce, pleaze do behave, and avoid using zat foul tongue of yohz!" I huff, with a scolding look and crossed eyes. And of course the worst Greek accent. I'm so glad the Minotaur is nowhere near us right now.

              "I think," Penny chokes out between laughs, "that's the best impression of the Minotaur you've ever done!" She looks strangely proud. It's enough to smile goofily at her; this is a good distraction from my murderous roommate.

               "Simon," Penelope sighs, "Baz hasn't murdered anyone." Of course I said it aloud.

               "You know what I mean! He just tried to kill me with that goddamn chimera two months ago, Pen!" I'm almost yelling and I hate it. "He even bloody admitted it."