Breathless...

𝗢𝘂𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝗽𝘁.𝟯

Baz's POV

I don't know how the fuck I got here, but I imagined my mother's ghost again. And then I found myself collapsed in the Mage's office. Fuck, fuck, fuck. . . I'm such a bloody mess.

               Why the fuck does this asshole in green tights exist?! And why the fuck did he get to replace my mother, and take her office! The office I grew up playing in. . . Where I had her.

               My head is throbbing and I tip it back in exhaustion, crashing into the book shelf behind me. Fucking hell. A couple books fall off, thudding to the ground. Amidst the dark, dusty piles of books that fell, I spot a familiar flaming red cover embossed in gold, and then I'm opening the last book I held over here, before she died. Unsurprisingly, my tears fall and stain the ancient, darkened paper. I sputter out a "let there be light!" (Because I don't trust myself to not walk into my own fires tonight.) And the office is dimly illuminated. 

               I can't fucking breathe. 

              Every memory of my mother plays before my eyes.

              When she'd pop candies into her mouth while working on her desk; her collection of teas, and all the aerobars she saved for me. . . 

              Every single time she helped me build with my LEGO set. Every summer we spent in Hampshire, with father. Every time she held my hand and showed my how to summon fire.
Her deep, melodious voice reading to me when I couldn't sleep. I miss her. So fucking much.
And the tears don't stop flooding down. Nearly drowning the poor book. Fuck, I'm such a mess.

              I want my mother. . I want her back. I miss her. Why? Why did she have to die. 

             Why when I could, instead.

             Why, when I need her.

             "I want my mother," I howl, to no one.

             I want her back, I want her back, I want her back. My head hurts. Everything hurts. My lungs hurt. I can't fucking breathe. I can't think. I'm only seeing into a black void. The only question on my mind being why.

Simon's POV

I open the Mage's office's door. Seeing some light, I expect to find him.

             But instead I see Baz. And I hear wheezing and crying. Fuck.

             He's sitting haphazardly on the floor, books strewn around him. I'm shocked for minute, too shocked to even move. Baz's raven hair are in his eyes, and tears stain his porcelain face. Silver eyes, red around the rim and swollen. And for the first time I've ever seen, his mouth is hanging open. He's fighting to breathe, sputtering and gasping for air. As if he's drowning. And his body twists in on itself.
             Then the shock wears off.

              I run towards Baz, and scoop him into my arms. He still hadn't seen me, and was immediately frightened. But his grey eyes rest when he realizes that it's only me that wrapped my arms around him. He's still shaking violently, as he continues to cry into my shoulder.

              "Bazzy, love, what's happening?" I whisper into his ear, in what I hope is a soothing tone. But I think my worry seeps through. He stays silent, breathing heavily and still releasing streams of hot tears. I almost don't think he's going to respond.

             "Mother. . ," he says suddenly. In such a small voice, that my heart shatters for him. I can't even imagine how much he must miss her. It's aching me to see him like this. . .

             "I'm so sorry, Bazzy, I'm so sorry. Is there anything I can do?" I ask gently. He only shakes his head. Well, I might as well get us out of here so I can help him, and put him to sleep soon. He looks fucking exhausted.

            "Love, we need to get out of here before someone comes. We're going to get in a lot of trouble." I tell him as he tightens his hold around my neck, and nuzzles into the crook. His hair tickle me, but I control any reaction to it.

            "C'mon, baby." I whisper, lifting him up by his waist. It's damn difficult since he's taller than me, but we have to get out. Because the consequence of someone finding us could be disastrous. But nothing seems to be working!

              Then I do the only thing I know to do.

Baz's POV

Snow gently presses his soft, loving lips on mine. As if it'll heal all the pain.  

              And maybe one day, he will.

             So, out of hope, he keeps kissing me ever so tenderly. Feather-light. Resting his forehead against mine. . Holding my face in his callous palms.

              Then a different shaft of light penetrates the room.

              His fear came true.

Simon's POV

The Mage stands at the door, as I kiss Baz. The second I move my lips, to look back in dread, I meet the Mage's cold, disappointed and mildly disgusted eyes.

               Then I hide Baz's face in my neck, far away from the Mage. As I meet his stare with my own steeled eyes. Pure, carnal instinct takes over, and I allow the damper on my magick to fall. The smoky, potent, disastrous scent rises between us. Hanging in the air like an open threat.
No one is hurting Baz.