Breathless...

𝗔𝗽𝗼𝗹𝗼𝗴𝗶𝗲𝘀

Vote and comment!!

also, I low key wanna be one of those people who write entire paragraphs about random stuff before the actual chapter update lmao.

today I feel like I could be cast as the queer as hell daughter of some homophobic priest in some movie and i'm so fucking angry.

also, sorry for any slow updates. I'm just in a messy situation rn.

also, follow me!

@CyllXRosso, thinking about you. . .

Baz's POV

Simon helps me up, and holds me close until we reach the top of Mummers. Finally back to our room, back to safety.

"Si, I'm so sorry." I say, while stepping out of the shower, to find Simon lying on my bed, staring aimlessly ahead.

"What?" He asks with surprise in his small voice, his head turning to face me so abruptly that his bronze curls bounce around.

"I said I'm sorry, love." I whisper, my voice laced with worry for him, as I pull on pyjamas. He only nods at me for a second and I walk to my bed and settle in his arms. He immediately wraps them around me, then moves a hand to brush through my damp hair. They're still wet from my shower.

"Love?" I ask for him. And he hums, distractedly. "I didn't think you'd protect me like that. I didn't expect you to put me above the Mage."

"I love you. Of course I did, I mean. . . Wouldn't you have, Baz? If someone from your family found out about me." He sighs into my hair, pulling my back flush against his chest.

"I'm fairly certain I'm still the one in need of protection; in that case, too." I chuckle. And he huffs amusedly. My stomach is in knots. I know how hurt he is, because I went through this with Father. I know exactly how rejected and abandoned and alone he feels right now. And Simon can't even mask his emotions the way I do, so his hurt radiates off him the same way his magick does. Simmering, confused, and so powerful it's nearly potent.

"I'm sorry, Simon." I say again, the guilt clawing at me. I feel sick.

"Enough with the apologies, Bazzy Boo." And he sounds so torn and yet his arms snake tighter around me. Roaming my body. Then he kisses my neck hungrily.

"Are you sure this is what you want, Simon?" I whisper as his hands travel down my navel.

"Isn't this what I fought for?" He retorts.

"Simon. . ," I plead softly, hurt by his tone. Yet, knowing I should give him space.

"I'm sorry, Bazzy. I just--need to forget." He says against my now unclothed chest, as he slips my shirt off, tossing it aside. "And remember."

"What does that mean?" I gulp; as he undresses me further.

"I need to forget about this whole issue with the Mage for a while. And remember what I gave him up for." He says between planting kisses on my bare skin. Surprisingly gentle, loving kisses.

"That's what I asked, Simon. Are you sure this is what you want?" I ask again, tangling my fingers in his curls as he kisses down my chest.

Blue eyes burn into mine, "You. I want you." He breathes.

I decide to remain silent, knowing that I want this too. I want him, too. And this. . .It's better than going for a smoke at this time. And he needs me.

So I moan, the second his lips catch mine once more. I already know we'll spend all night kissing; and if he needs reassurance of my love through this, who am I to deny the one my heart chose? He's Simon bloody Snow, he'll get whatever he wants from me. . . He'll always win. And I'll let him.