MY NAME IS ALEX

IAN

She's awake. 

She's finally awake. I looked at my phone and hoped to god I'm not dreaming. My mom just called and said Alex is finally awake. She's been sleeping for what seems like forever, it's time for her to get her ass up and answer my questions. I was worried sick, for god sake.

I was supposed to meet up with her in the small-town center of Bodelva. I had it all planned out. I was going to surprised her. I booked a table in a seafood restaurant and I was going to tell her I made it to the Nationals. Then I'm going to address the elephant in the room that has been staying between us for ten years already. I wanted to tell her I love her and I was sure she'll smirk at me and probably make fun of my confession but she would have said yes, she loves me too. I knew she would have.

But I waited... and waited and she didn't come. I thought she must have caught on and was being her usual difficult self, so I called Eunice to ask. They said she asked for free time to go somewhere, but she was supposed to be back an hour ago. 

After another hour of not being able to contact her, we started to worry and informed Ms. Rossi.

We looked for her everywhere. After three hours of the whole class looking for her, Ms. Rossi decided it's time to call the police. They helped us search, but no one has seen her. It wasn't the first time she's gone on her own, she does that a lot, but she always comes back on time.

Alex is punctual to the dot. She hates waiting so she also doesn't like making people wait. And most importantly, she wouldn't be gone this long without informing anyone. 

Alex hates bothering and worrying people. She's so independent it would wound her pride to know she has ruined the trip for everyone. Something must have happened.

For the whole day, we searched. I kept staring at my phone, willing her call – hoping to God she'd call. But she didn't. 24 hours passed and we haven't heard anything from her.

I died when they announced her missing.

For days they continued the search for her. We all had to go back to London and go back to school as if she wasn't missing.

My mom broke down when she heard the news. She raised her like her own daughter. My mom was friends with the late Mrs. Montenegros and had taken on the duty of looking after Alex since both her parents died of a car accident three years ago.

Her grandma came to England from France and dropped everything to search for her. She would have been horrified to know that. She hates worrying her grandma more than anything. 

Alex and her nan don't have the best relationship. They obviously care for each other, but they don't spend enough time with each other to be able to show it.

My mom always thinks it's sad, but it's the way both of them cope from losing the people they both loved dearly. Her grandma lives in France where she manages all of the late Mr. Montenegro's businesses at least until Alex graduates and becomes ready to take over.

Her nan loves her. That was for sure. She looked so worried all those times I was scared she'd fall ill any minute. I can understand how she must have felt. 

I love Alex and I was dying every minute we searched for her, but I know Nan Holly had it even worse. She lost her only daughter and her son-in-law three years ago. I could only imagine how the thought of losing the only family she has left must feel like for her.

After three excruciating days, they found her in a hospital in Cornwall. They said, she fell into a bridge and luckily someone rescued her. Her nan transferred her to a hospital in London and she's been asleep for two weeks. 

 I visited her every day, begging for her to open her eyes and make nasty remarks on how crappy that school trip was. But she didn't.

Until today.

I took out my phone and called Eunice.

"She's awake," I said, not needing to tell her anymore.

Alex thinks of Eunice as a nice acquaintance, but not a friend – or at least that's what she said– and the same goes for Jasmine and Sunny. They all think of one another as nice companions and spends lunchtime and free time together, but they didn't want to use the word 'friends' as a label to their relationship. They're all really weird about it and it's funny watching them deny their fondness for one another.

"And you need time to run there, right?" she asked, trying to be casual even when it's obvious she's also pleased with the news.

I don't know what it is with these women. Eunice, Jasmine, and even the bookworm Sunny all looked devastated when Alex went missing. They obviously like one another, but they just won't admit it to themselves.

Women. I will never understand them.

"Yes. Can you cover the first hour for me?" I asked. We work in the same coffee shop and Eunice was doing the shift before mine.

"Okay. Just the first hour though. You be late and you're paying for what I'll be losing on my next part-time." She said before hanging up.

I shook my head at that. Eunice might be happy that Alex is finally awake, but she won't let this one go either. As much as she likes Alex, even if she doesn't admit it, she also needs money just as much.

I guess I can't fault her for that.

I ran to my room and took my bag. I messaged my mom telling her I'll be there as soon as I can.

I'm nervous and excited and extremely happy.

I can finally breathe. The last few days had been horrible. The thought of losing her, of not seeing her cute smirks and hear her sarcastic remarks pained me so much it knocked the air on my lungs every time.

I know I love Alex. I've known that for years. But almost losing her made me realized just how much. I couldn't live without her.

I won't have to.

Alex is finally back. She's safe. She'll be looking at me with that grim expression on her face I came to miss and she'll be telling me off for not being in her side when she woke.

And I'd be telling her how much I missed her. I wouldn't wait for the perfect timing or plan the perfect confession anymore. I don't care about any of those anymore. When I see her, I have to tell her.

That I love her.