The Secret Life of a Christian Teenage Girl

Psalms 46

Scripture:
Psalms 46 NIV
"God is our refuge and strength,
an ever-present help in trouble.
Therefore we will not fear, though the
earth give way
and mountains fall into heart
of the sea,
though its waters roar and foam
and the mountains quake with their surging .

There is a river whose streams make glad
the city of God,
the holy place where the Most High dwells.
God is within her, she will not
fall;
he lifts his voice, the earth melts.
The Lord Almighty is with us;
the God of Jacob is our fortress.
Come and see the works of the Lord, the desolations he has brought on the earth.
he breaks the bow and shatters the spear, he burns the sheilds with fire.
"Be still, and know that I am God;
I Will be exalted among the
nations, I will be exalted in the earth"
The Lord Almighty is with us;
the God of Jacob is our fortress."

Think:
When we feel as if our world is shattering all around. When an issue is just too big to face. When we are scared, terrified even. When the waves just keep slapping down on us and we are drowning. When the world is closing in and there is no room to move. When we are going down a dark hall way and can't find our way out. When we are completely and utterly lost. What do we do then?

My Description:
I'm in a dark hallway. I can't see anything but darkness. I can feel God but I can't see Him. Am I going the right way? I hear voices. I turn but still darkness. I scream but hear nothing of my own?!?! I listen. I hear opinions. There about someone. There mean. Terrible. Horrible. Who could be thought of that lowly? I listen more. And then I realize. They... They are talking about.. About me? The voices... They, they are getting louder. I being to walk faster but their getting louder.

"God" I scream out "God are you listening? Do you hear me? Do hear them?" I get no answer.. "God, where are?" I question hopping my Savior will answer. "God your suppose to help me! TELL ME! What am I suppose to do?" But I get no reply.

Faster I run. Louder the voices get. Faster. Louder. And then, I hear foot- steps. I turn but I am still in the darkness. The voices are now screams. I turn back and go faster. And the foot-steps go faster. Is someone chasing me?

I listen to the dreadful screams. "YOU'RE UGLY!" One screams,
"YOU RUINED MY LIFE!" I hear another,
"WHY'D YOU DO IT?" Another
"DROP DEAD"
"THE WORLD IS BETTER OFF WITHOUT YOU"

I feel tears, my eyes burn, my legs hurt. Do I give in? To the voice? The foot-steps are closer. I have stopped running. Why? why should I continue?

"WHAT DO YOU WANT?" I drop to my knees

"What do I do?" I crawl to the corner

"God, what do I do? I'm lost. There is no end. Save me. I can no longer continue." I begin to pray. Tears continue to stream. I've meet my breaking point. My lord, my God has turned his ear.

I know better, Jesus loves me. I give in. And then. I feel warmth. Arms? Arms holding me. I feel them lift me. I'm brought to a chest. I don't dare to open my eyes. Scared the arms will leave me. And I'll be alone again. I feel wind. The person is carrying me.

Happiness surrounds me. I feel brightness on my face like the sun. I crack my eyes open gentle. I look around and see a cliff. Wow, it's breath taking. The stranger has brought me to the top. From the darkness to the light, I look and see the sun begin to rise. I turn to my Savior. My Angle. My Guardian. My God. His back is facing me. He is not infront of me and is no longer holding me, but yet I feel safe.

Review:
When I'm going through a hard time, when I feel completely and utterly lost. I feel like what I just wrote. I constantly ask God "Why?" I know I have no right to question him but yet I do. I lose my faith to easy, and I give in.

Honestly, I do the exact opposite of what I'm supposed to do. I become weak. God is able to do far beyond what I ask or imagine. He wants me to come to Him with positive expectations, knwing that there is no limit to what I can accomplish. God has already saved us through Christ our Savior. When we let ourselves get that low, We need to remember, Jesus came and He saved us. Jesus gave us our choice. When we go through trails we need to stop and pray and ask God what we are supposed to do. And He will pick us up and carry us back up. He will lead the way. Jesus has already paved the path and the Bible is our light. We just need to follow.

Message I received was this:
When we hit our rock bottom we need to remember God is with us. Through the Bad times and the Good Time. Through our Up's and Down's. Through our Dark time and our Bright times. Our relationship with God is a constant and never ending one. God never turns his back; we do. God is always with us and He will never give us a trail to big or too hard to face. Yet, we constantly question him. We constantly say "I Can't" when we can. I do this a lot more than I'm proud of. I think when we say this we honestly believe God has left us and turned his back on us. When in reality it's us who has turned our back and left him. When we realize that we feel God has done this, we need to pray and confess that we have done wrong and that we need him. That we are lost. We should ask God to control our mind so that we can think positive thoughts of Him. And if we ask for something and it doesn't come right away, we should pray for us to have patience. Time is like a trainer, teaching us how to wait or to wait for God, to trust Him in the dark. We have to ask Him to brighten the light He has lit, and He will.

Just remember God is always with us. He will not let us fall. He is our fortress.