It All Started With A One Night Stand

Life sucks

This week was different. It wasn't different like the week before was, where I spent all my time with Nathan and it felt like my life couldn't get any better. Instead it was different because I felt like it dragged on. Like time moved slowly and there was no happiness or end in sight. And I knew why I felt this way. Nathan.

It was honestly unexplainable. I knew that it was going to be hard to be away from Nathan for a month, but I didn't really understand the extent to it. I thought that I was going to hate being apart because I would keep thinking about what Nathan was doing and who he was doing it, but that was not why.

After our kiss I knew that he was going to be loyal to me. I knew from the sincerity in his eyes and the caring and passion in his kiss, that he was going to see where this goes with me before he decides to move on.

Instead it was me. I missed him so badly. I missed being with him and missed talking to him. I missed being able to count down my time in class until I got to see him next, now I just count down my time in class to be able to get to my next responsibility of the day.

It hurt because I didn't think that I would miss him this much. I only dated him for a week and before that I hated him. But through that week I my mind and heart changed, I went from being scared that he was doing it based off of guilt to knowing that he was with me because that's what he wants.

The worst part is that if that this is how I felt with a temporary separation, it was going to hurt so much more when he decided I was not what he wanted. But I had to trust him and I had to wait because that's all I could do.

I heard my alarm went off and decided to get out of bed. Before I used to sleep until my alarm woke me up, but now I woke up before the alarm because I don't sleep much. I don't eat much either.

I go brush my teeth, do my morning routine and go downstairs.

"Hey how are you feeling today?" Victoria asked me as she came to sit down and have breakfast with me. She knows how much I have been struggling with being apart from Nathan.

"I feel okay I guess." I said as I poured myself a cup of coffee.

"That good?" She asked me as she lifted her eyebrows to look at me. She knows that I hate drinking coffee because it was so bitter, but after spending time apart I knew that was what I needed to be able to get through my day.

"It's not that bad." I said underplaying how bad the break was getting to me. I didn't want them to worry anymore than they had to. "I just had a hard time sleeping."

"It seems like you also had a hard time eating recently." Jasmine said as she came to sit beside me and saw that I was eating an apple and a piece of bread. She knows how much I love breakfast and how much I loved to eat so she could easily tell that I was struggling.

"It's fine. This is the way it has to be." I said while drinking my coffee and grimacing.

"I guess. Did you hear that last night Nathan played an awful game. He kept turning the ball over and the coach yelled at him and ended up benching him." Jasmine said as both her and Victoria looked at me for a reaction.

"Oh I guess that sucks for him." I said as I drank the coffee trying not to feel bad that he was playing badly because of me. I know that I was the one who was bringing pain to both of us because of my bad decision. But I also knew that I had to do this, I can't be like my mom who lost herself for a man.

"Yea and the worst thing is that playoffs start this Sunday. If he keeps playing bad than they are definitely going to lose." Jasmine said sighing. I don't understand why she is doing this. Jasmine has always been the sweetest kindest person I have ever known and she knows her much I'm suffering. So why?