It All Started With A One Night Stand

Crossroads and Decisions

I was at crossroads. I could forgive Nathan or at least talk to him and try to work it out. I could give us one more chance and remember all of our good moments.

Or I could leave this all behind. Think about it as just a half a year relationship, my first meaningful relationship. And leave it like that. Not all couples end up together at the end after all.

But looking at him still takes my breathe away. Looking into his golden eyes and how they were filled with love, insecurity and worry. Looking at his brown curly locks that he was running his hands through and the look of relief but also worry and passion in his face I knew that he was sorry for what he did and would have done anything to take it back.

It would have been so easy to talk to him and let him back into my life. It would have been so easy to tell them that I'm staying and that I wanted to start again and rebuild. It would have been so easy just to change my mind, unpack and spend the rest of my year here.

It would have been so easy but it wouldn't have been the right decision. My mom has given up everything for me, I had to be able to at least give up something. And while looking into Nathan's eyes I knew what I had to do. There was only one thing that I could do that would be the best decision for everybody.

"Hey Nathan." I breathed out.

"Hey Alyssa it's been so long since I've last seen you." He said with a big smile on his face. "I was so worried that something bad happened. I am so relieved that you are okay." He looked like he would have done anything to be able to run into my arms and give me a gigantic hug, but at the same time from the worry lines on his face he knew that this was not the right thing to do.

"So we will leave you to it." Victoria said as she grabbed onto Jasmine's hand and walked into the house.

"So how have you been?" I asked Nathan feeling the intense tension and awkwardness of this moment. This moment wasn't anger or guilt, which we were good at. It was more sadness than anything else.

"I've been pretty good. I decided to stay at Western for another year and finish my degree before thinking about going to the NFL." Nathan said trying to kill the tension.

"That's amazing! I'm so happy for you! I know how much you love school so being able to finish it would be good for you!" I said and I really meant it. I didn't feel anger at him for what he did, I just felt happy that he made a good decision for himself and for his life.

"So how have you been? Why is all of your stuff in your car?" Nathan asked me while surveying the surroundings and scratching his arm.

"I'm leaving and going back home." I said with a frown. I know that this was the right decision but I didn't know how much it was going to hurt.

"Please say it's not because of me." Nathan breathed out with worry.

"No it's not." I said quickly trying to reassure him that this decision had nothing to do with him.

"Okay good!" Nathan said. "Not that it is good that you are leaving but it's good that it's not because of me."

"Yup it has nothing to do with you. It's just that my mom is sick." I said.

"Really?" He asked me. I nodded my head and felt him wrap his arms around me and squeeze me into a loving hug. "I am sooo sooo sorry."

"Yup! My mom has Lupus and is not reacting well to her treatment." I said as i cried into his arms. "I just feel like such a bad person because I wasn't there for her. I just didn't know."

"You're not a bad person, baby. You're one of the best people I've ever meet. I am sooo sorry this is happening to you." He said as he breathed in my scent and kissed the top of my head. He pulled back slightly to wipe the tears of my face. "You didn't know before but now you do and now you are going to be there for her. That is more than enough."

"Thank you!" I said as I couldn't stop myself from kissing him on the cheek. I wanted to kiss him on the lips but knew that that shouldn't happen.

He went big to hugging me and I felt myself fall in love with him all over again. I knew that he screwed up and I knew that I should be upset but that didn't change anything. Life is too short to look back at the past and look at it with regrets. I trust Nathan to give him the benefit of the doubt, if he said that he didn't know that I was drink than maybe he really didn't know. But this doesn't change anything about what going to happen today.

"About us." I whispered into his chest forcing myself to say what I needed to do next. This was going to hurt but it would be the best for both of us.

"You don't need to worry about us. Your mom is sooo much more important. I will be fine with whatever decision you make. My only request is for you to let me be there for you right now. I want to be there for anything, a crying session, a cuddle partner, an excuse to get junk food. Anything." Nathan said while looking down at me with love and understanding.

"Don't make me fall in love with you again." I said while elbowing him in the chest and sporting the biggest smile I had in a long time.

"What! It's hard not to love me! It's not my fault!" Nathan laughed making me laugh as well. Oh god our chemistry is something that I am going to miss.

"Okay but I'm being serious." I said as I elbowed him again. "So be serious!"

"Okay okay I will be!" Nathan said as he put his hands up to show that he was going to behave.

"This relationship hasn't been the easiest for either of us." I said as I remembered all the ways I thought that this was going to play out. I just never knew that it would be in this way.

"I know but not all relationships are easy. And just because a relationship is hard doesn't mean its not worth it." Nathan said while looking into my eyes begging me for a second chance or hundredth chance. Who keeps count on this kind of thing?

"I know but sometimes relationships are not supposed to be this hard." I said while looking into his eyes and remembering all our moments together.

"You feel like our relationship is not worth it. It's not worth working on?" Nathan said while biting his lip as if he was holding in what he really wanted to say or was holding in his emotions.

"No I think our relationship is definitely worth working on! I think we have something that would last and that this is just starting to be amazing." I said knowing that this was the truth and right now I didn't want to say anything but the truth.

"Then what is this?" Nathan asked me with confusion but hope in his eyes.

"This is me saying that under any other circumstance we could have worked out. We could have end up together. We could have been able to build back our relationship. But this is not the case." I said as I started to cry knowing this is the end.

"Why not?" Nathan asked me. "If you feel this way why give us up?"

"Because right now I need to focus on my mom. She has given everything up for me I need to do the same." I said.

"I completely agree! But how about after? After she gets better and everything is said and done?" Nathan asked me.

"I would love for us to happen afterward but I don't know how long it will take for things to go back to normal if they ever do! And I can't ask for you to wait that long!" I said as I tore out of his arms and ran back to house.

"Alyssa please!" Nathan said as he ran looked at me running away and ran after me. I ran faster knowing that if he caught me I will change my mind. I slam the door behind me.

"Alyssa please I will be there for you. Please just give me a chance!" Nathan said while hitting the door. "Please...." He whispered.

"What was that all about?" Victoria asked me.

"Nothing can we please get out of here." I said as Jasmine grabbed my hand and Victoria grabbed their bags and we went to the car.

Jasmine acted like a buffer separating Nathan away from me and putting me in the car. As Victoria drove us away I could see the sadness in Nathan's eyes making me cry all the way back home. I can't believe that I broke up with him but I knew that this was for the best. Wasn't it?