Untamed Thoughts (Poetry)

not anymore

I'm not 1 anymore
I don't have my mother's hands carrying me
But thoughts in my head that wouldn't let me be

I'm not 4 anymore
I don't wear butterfly wings but an armour
So that your harsh words wont hurt me any further

I'm not 6 anymore
I don't smile at the camera with my teeth missing
But to hide the pain and sorrow that i am feeling

I'm not 10 anymore
I don't have hands to pick me up when i fall
But instead I'm learning how to fight on my own

I'm not 14 any more
I don't dress up to show what i bought at the mall
But to console my shattering soul

I'm not 16 any more
I don't fight my depression knocking at the door
Not scared of the nightmares that wakes me up at four
They are not forgotten even after days of yore

I don't have them these days
Not because i lost them but because of insomnia
The whispers in my head have learned to sing opera
Stress keeps there company playing the viola

There are times we sing together, and we don't talk some days
even if i have to bite my lips to keep my tears at bay
I will keep on going i will always find my way