Demons || Jaythan

This Is Gospel

If you love me let me go

‘Cause these words are knives and often leave scars

The fear of falling apart

And truth be told, I never was yours

- This Is Gospel; Panic! At The Disco.

Chapter Sixteen:

It had suddenly become awkward, I tried to think of a way to spark up a conversation but under Jay's cold stare everything evaporated from my mind, he was the hot water and I was the steam. My excitement from earlier had obviously faded and now I was left with nothing, I felt as though my emotions had been ripped out of me. 

"Why did you do it?" 

My head snapped up, my jaw dropping open. "W-what?"

Jay's stare seemed to get colder - if that was even possible.  "You heard me." He fumed. 

I grimaced, I've never seen Jay this angry. I didn't blame him for being angry though, I deserved this; I deserved to be snapped at, to be punished. 

"The other boys didn't want me to come and see you, you know." He was calmer now but it looked like all he wanted to do was just explode into a mass of destruction of fire. Again, I didn't blame him. I would too. "But I came because- because I still love you." My heart nearly lept out of my chest: he still loved me?

"That doesn't matter now anyway, I want to know why you did this? Why did you kill them all? Why, Nath? Why would you do this? This isn't like you." Jay breathed out, almost as if it pained him. 

"I don't know!" I cried. 

"Bullshit!" I could see the white-hot rage bubbling at the surface of Jay, spurting out little droplets of his anger. 

"It was the demon! He made me do it! Oh, if I could take it all back I would in a heartbeat but it was all the demon!" I cried again but it only seemed to egg on the burning anger inside Jay. 

"Don't tell lies, Nathan." Jay demanded. 

How could he not believe me? He knew about the demon, it wasn't like the whole concept - although it wasn't a concept, the demon was real - was new to him. The white-hot rage that Jay had must have been contagious because I could feel my teperature rising like a rocket and the fire inside have me sparked into a bonfire that was out of control. "It's the truth! And you know about the demon, so you should be the one to stop telling lies!" I bellowed. 

"I hate you Jay McGuiness." I sneered. How could he not believe me?

I heard the door opening; a frantic doctor came in with a needle in his hand that was filled with an unknown liquid, I assumed that he was about to stab me with it but before he did, the last thing I heard was, "The feeling is mutual, Nathan Sykes."

* * *

When I had come back around everything was hazy and blurry. I felt as though I had suddenly gone blind and someone had stolen my glasses from me. It took me a few seconds but my vision finally cleared and I noticed that I was back in my room. I was unsure of the time, I could only guess that I was out cold for only a couple of hours. 

I was still angered by what had happened earlier but the white rage in me had simmered down. I don't think that I would get over what happened; or even forgive Jay, this was going to stick with me forever. 

Jay was right about one thing, though: this wasn't at all like me. 

It was all the demon's fault and if I had to suffer because of the demon than thas fine by me, as long as it kept innocent people out of danger. This way I knew I wouldn't be the cause of people's suffering, especially the eternal pain that I have casted upon the families of the people that I have killed. 

They could torture me all they wanted, they could stab me, they could do whatever they wanted to me but all that wouldn't amount to the pain that I am feeling right now from Jay not trusting me. 

He was the only thing keeping me sane, now that I don't have him anymore I could feel the insanity creeping in and settling in every crevice of my mind. Posining my thoughts; seeping into my blood stream; flowing throughout my body. 

- 

This will be my last update of this year, isn't that a weird thought? That next time I update we will be in another year! Wow I am lame sorry. 

So it's kind of a filler, I guess. Idk what to make of it lol. 

What's everyone doing for New Year's? Anything special? 

I am going to go to my mum's cousin's house and have a little celebration there. 

Until next year - Talia x