Never Alone || Carchelle

Michelle

"you alright love?" I ask. Carla looks at me, her eyes still red and she shrugs before burying her face in my shoulder again. I rub her back gently "You ready to go home?" I say and she nods into my shoulder. I pull her close to me and we walk off the bridge and back onto safe land again. I let out a soft sigh, watching as my breath floats away in the cold night air. A gust of wind sprinkles snow around the pair of us and Carla shivers, her thin coat doing nothing to protect her against the freezing air. "You remember when we were 7 and it snowed?" I whisper and Carla glances at me strangely. "Of course... why?" she states and I chuckle "We were so cute! Running around in our pyjamas" "Mine 'ad holes in em of course" Carla mutters and I squeeze her arm "And your hair... oh my god! It always looked like someone had slashed at it with a knife and fork" I giggle and Carla wrinkles her nose up "That's cos it was. Mam always did it 'erself". "You know... I think that night was one of the best nights we'd ever had together. Just us two in the snow. No rules, not an issue in sight. The entire world was ours and we were free..." I say, smiling widely and Carla looks at me "That's your favourite memory of us?" she says, nudging me in the ribs and I squeal "What?" before she tosses her head and laughs. "Mine's the day we moved 'ere." She says softly "Just us two, we knew nobody. Had no money, no idea what on earth the future would hold for us. You'd just had Ryan. I'd just flunked school with two whole GCSEs to my name. We had nothing. But when we walked into that cheap little dingy flat, I felt so grown up. Like we could do anything."... Carla trails off and stops, looking up at the sky, snow falling on her face, making her shiver more. "I didn't care that we were a right pair of messy, skint, badly styled, teenagers. For the first time in my life, I felt like I was really free. Like me past weren't going to define me anymore. 'Ere I was a new me. Nobody knew we'd come from our shoddy estate. I remember rounding that corner in our taxi, a few bags by our side, Ryan in your arms and thinking This is it. This is our new start. I never knew that things'd turn out the way they 'ave". I smile sadly "Nobody did darling. I wouldn't have wanted to move away with anyone else though. No matter what happened, you were always there. Ya made me smile when I thought I couldn't. Ya made me laugh so hard me sides felt like they were gonna split. When I cried, you caught me, when I had nothin' you stood by me side, never flinching, never buckling under the pressure of livin' with someone like me. You were, and still are, me best friend and I couldn't imagine me life without ya." I say gently, brushing the melting snow out of her hair. Carla looks at me, snow falling on her nose, catching in her long eyelashes and frowns. "Darling?" I say. "I hate 'im for what he's done ta me. I should have told him sooner but I weren't ta know" Carla cries and I look at her, confusion plastering itself on my face. She catches my eye and sighs. She brushes away the snow and tears on her face and looks at the pavement. She fiddles with her sleeve "I broke up wiv him cos I loved someone else" she whispers and my heart sinks "That don't mean it's ok for him to 'ave done what he did love" I say gently and Carla whimpers, sinking to her knees in the shallow snow. I squat beside her "Carla? Talk to me please" I plead "He found out I were gay Chelle... It were my fault this 'appened. If I were different, maybe e'd have loved me. If I weren't me, this wouldn't 'ave happened. I did this to meself Chelle... I should 'ave told him sooner. He said it were my fault... That he needed to fuck the gay away, that maybe one last time would make meh realise what I were missin'..." Carla breaks down, sobbing uncontrollably and I pull her into my arms "I don't care what that scumbag says, this was not your fault darling. He chose to do what he did. Regardless of who you love or whether your straight or gay or summin in the middle, 'e should not 'ave done what 'e did ta ya." I ruffle Carlas hair gently and she looks up at me, her eyes big and wet "You really don't mind?" she says and I smile at her "Your me best friend, I will always, always, stay by your side. I don't care whatcha do, you're not gonna push me away"...