Never Alone || Carchelle

Carla

"Carla?" I hear Michelle call through the wall and sigh, wiping the tear dribbling down my cheek. I shove the unopened test in my bag and force a smile on my face "In here" I call back, opening the door and stepping out back into normality - whatever that means! "You ok love?" Chelle asks and I nod "Yeah fine... cuppa tea?" and she nods. "Oh! Meant to tell you, Robert has asked if I can cover a shift at the Bistro tonight, are you going to be ok here by yourself? cos I can ask Kate or Aidan or Maria over if you want?" Chelle trails off when I don't reply "Carla?" I pull myself out of my thoughts "Huh?" "Tonight?" Chelle asks and I shrug "Don't mind". She grins "Ok, I'll be back around ten. Sees ya love" She calls as she closes the door "Chelle! Tea?" I call after her, shaking my head at my best friends lack of ability to remember to drink the tea I literally just made her but she doesn't return. And so once more, I am left with nothing other than the sounds of the voices wittering in my head. Silence falls over the flat again and I sigh. I place my tea down on the counter and fish in my bag for the pregnancy test. "I'm sure I'm just over thinking this" I mutter, scoffing at the thought that this might well be real. But I head into the bathroom anyway... 

3 minutes... And then I'll know... I'm not sure I'm ready to know, I'm not sure I want to know... What if? What if...? I glance at my phone, watching the numbers ticking down and a shaky breath escapes my dry lips. "Please..." I whisper my heart in my throat as the timer dings loudly. I grab the test, muttering a half hearted prayer for it to be negative and glance down at it. My heart leaps "YES!" I squeak seeing only one line "Thank you!" I say to the air, I go to throw the test away and frown, I peer at the test again and freeze. A second line gradually appears, faint at first but getting stronger and more obvious the longer I look at it. "No no no no no!!" I shake the stick desperately but the lines stayed. I feel physically sick, there's a piece of him inside me. Growing inside me. I turn around, vomiting into the toilet and sink to the floor, tears sliding down my face. My mind whirls at a million miles an hour and for the first time since it happened, I feel truly powerless... "CARLA?" I hear Michelle bellow from the living room and I jump. Glancing at my phone I see it's 10 already. I stand up "In here" I croak, I hear the kettle click on and stare at myself in the mirror. Asides from the makeup streaked down my face, you wouldn't really know I'd just stopped crying an hour ago... I shake my hair out, toss the test in my pocket and stride out into the flat. Michelle stops in her tracks when she sees me and comes running to my side "Carla? What happened?" she inquires and my heart sinks "Nothin" I mutter, avoiding her eyes. She grasps my shoulders gently "darling? What's the matter?" I shrug her off me "I said I'm fine!" I snap and she flinches "Come on Car. Talk to me. Somethings happened. Did you have another PTSD attack? Because if you did, that's ok" she reaches for my hand and I step backwards "I said I'm fine! So just leave me the fuck alone ok Michelle? I DON'T NEED YOUR HELP!" I yell, shoving her away from me. I turn on my heels and open the door "Carla! Wait..." I hear Chelle call as I slam the door close and vanish into the evening light. I can't do this anymore... I just want this to stop... I think as my feet take me far away from the street and places I used to call home...