Never Alone || Carchelle

Michelle

I stare at the ceiling, thoughts crashing in my head keeping me from sleeping. I'd been struggling to collect my thoughts since that night I realised everything in the hospital... It's been a few days since then and all I can think about is what came out of my mouth, the fact Carla is pregnant and that fact I love her... I think I love Carla... No... I love her. Holy SHIT! I love my best friend... Whyyyy me? Why do I have to be the one who falls for her only solidly good friend she has ever managed to find and keep? And when she has already told me she loves someone else too... Plus she's pregnant with Franks baby... Who knows what she will be like when she's a mother, she might not need me or the platonic friendship she seeks from me. I know that I have to tell Robert. I cannot do what Steve did to me with Leanne and lie to Roberts face, he deserves the truth. I will not hurt him and lead him on. He deserves better. 

The sun finally rises and with my heart and mind finally settled, I roll out of bed and get myself ready for the hard day that is about to come.... "Carla?" I call, as I enter the living room, wondering where my best friend is hiding this time. I hear a soft yawn and hold back a giggle as a sleepy eyed Carla pokes her head up over the top of the sofa, hair all messed up and the make up from last night smeared around her eyes. "mmmm?" Carla mumbles, rubbing her eyes and I smile "You alright there love?" I ask and she nods "Justabittired" she slurs "I'm gonna go out for a bit, will you be ok here?" I ask and Carla nods again, her head sinking onto the top of the couch "That's it, you can go back to sleep, I'll be home in an hour or so" I mutter as I watch her head vanish from sight. 

I exit the flat, the cool winter morning sun smacking me in the face and the gentle breeze ruffles my softly curled hair. I have to do this, it's not fair on Robert to be with him when I am in love with Carla I think sadly as I head towards the Bistro. Heart in my throat I enter, seeking the man I once loved and was going to marry before I got shot. The man who doesn't know about Rauri, didn't know why I was so scared when I thought I could be pregnant again. He doesn't know me I think as I push the kitchen door open and then he's there. "Robert we need to talk" I blurt out the second I see him. His face is plastered with confusion as we exit out the back door. The alley is empty and dark, the damp winter sun not yet having made it high enough to reach the top of the Bistro roof. "Are you alright Michelle?" he asks and I sigh "Not really... Look, I'm sorry Robert but this isn't going to work...". Silence fills the cool air between us and sticks to my skin like mist on a damp morning. He stares at me, hurt in his eyes "What?" he whispers and my heart clenches "I'm sorry Robert, I really am but I don't love you anymore..." I stutter, stepping back as he leans towards me. His eyes narrow and my heart stops as he steps closer. My back smacks into the alley wall and I squeak. "You what?" Robert snarls and I wince "I don't love you..." "Is there someone else?" He growls and I shake my head "I just don't love you". He grabs my arm and I flinch as he pulls me towards him. Images of Carla and Frank in their old flat flash through my head and fear encases my heart. Nobody would hear me even if I screamed. I look up at Robert "Let go! You're hurting me!" I exclaim and to my surprise he does so. "sorry" he mutters looking at the floor and he walks away. I let out a shaky breath and retreat back into the Bistro kitchen, leaving swiftly, sending Robert a sad and apologetic glance as I brush past him. "Wait Chelle" he calls as I leave and I halt "What did I do wrong?" he asks and I flash a small smile at him "Nothing, you were perfect" I reply "So then why?" I take a deep breath "Because I love Carla" I say as I walk away...