8 Seconds // Mashton [DISCONTINUED]

Fear of Getting Lost

~ I haven't updated this in ages and i'm sorry and this part is really shitty as well but oh well. Eh, I don't even know ~

Calum’s P.O.V

“what the hell were you thinking Luke? Did you seriously think I would cheat on you? And Michael, how could you even...god just get out.” I’m standing in the doorway, staring in shock at Luke and Chloe in the bathroom, before realising that yes, she is in fact wearing nothing but a towel. Ashton seem to realise this at the same time as I do because we both back out, turning around to stare at the posters on Michael’s wall.

“Chloe…”

“Get out Luke! I don’t care what you say just get the fuck out so I can get dressed.” Luke leaves the bathroom and walks over to us, sitting down on Michael’s bed. Chloe closes the bathroom door and locks it and I sit down next to Luke, none of us saying anything.

“GODDAMNIT WHAT DID I EVEN DO TO YOU!” Ashton suddenly shouts and I look up from my hands, finding him trying to get away from the small kitten attacking his feet. “Why does it hate me so much!”

“probably because you had something against her to begin with.” Chloe emerges from the bathroom wearing one of Luke’s shirts and sweatpants and she walks straight over to Ashton, who’s now standing on a chair trying to get away. She picks up Zelda and sits down next to Luke and I. “Now, leave. I have to talk to Luke and one of you have to try and get a hold of Michael and fix all this.” I nod, knowing better than to question her, and get up, leaving the room with Ashton behind me. Ashton immediately reaches for his phone, unlocking it and dialing Michael’s number. I watch him from the kitchen, watching his face falls when no one answers.

“Should we go look for him?” he asks and I shrug.

“he’s been gone for like five minutes.” I point out.

“right.” Ashton sits down on the couch, running a hand through his hair.

“well I’m gonna go for a run.” I announce, three or something minutes later. “I think I need to clear my head, didn’t really expect all that to...happen.” Ashton nods, probably understanding exactly what I mean, he couldn’t have seen this coming anymore than I did, and I leave the room, quickly getting changed before leaving the house as well, soon starting to run.

~

I’ve been running for almost an hour when I got to King’s Cross station, on the backside where all the tracks leave the station. I’ve never really taken notice of the place before, it being nothing more than a railroad, a normal road and a construction site, but now, when I stop, I take a look around. There’s nothing special about it, nothing at all. but there’s something different this time. Someone’s sitting next to the tracks maybe fifty feet ahead of me, with his head down. I recognize him almost immediately, a wave of panic washing over me when I do, and I start running again, this time towards him. He doesn’t react when I sit down next to him, and not when I place a hand on his arm.

“You’re not gonna kiss yourself are you?” I ask, and he smiles.

“I’m not depressed or suicidal Calum, and even if I were I wouldn’t jump in front of a train.” I know better than to ask, I really do, but I ask anyway.

“Why not?”

“because it’s selfish. It doesn’t matter how depressed you are, how much you wanna die, jumping in front of a train would ruin the life for so many people, the person driving the train, the passengers, it just wouldn’t be fair.”

“alright.” he nods and I stand up again. “come on Mikey, let’s go home now, it’s late and it’s cold and I’m sweaty.” Michael takes the hand I’m holding out for him and gets on his feet before hiding his hands in the sleeves of his sweater. I watch him, wanting to ask if he’s alright, wanting to ask him a shit ton of questions about what happened, before starting to walk home, without saying a word.

~

We get back half an hour later, having walked instead of running like I usually do, and Michael takes his shoes off, walking downstairs without saying a word. I take a shower before heading downstairs as well, wanting to make sure he’s okay, and when I enter his room I find him sitting on the floor, playing with Zelda.

“Michael?” he looks up at me before turning his attention back to the kitten and I sit down next to him. “why didn’t you tell me sooner?”

“because of what I said back when...before Christmas. I got home and I told you I’d never be gay, that I loved boobs.” he shrugs, refusing to look up at me. “I remembered it the day after and I just...nah.”

“Oh.” I nod, remembering that night as well. It was when I met Ashton in the stair on my way back from Michael’s room. My eyes widen when I realise why Ashton’s been acting so strange around Michael lately, why he looked so hurt that night. He must have heard Michael’s words, must have thought he meant them.

“I figured you’d judge me.”

“no, no no not at all.” I get back on my feet, walking over to his bed and pulling the covers to the side. “come here.” he raises an eyebrow, not saying anything or moving an inch. “come on, let’s cuddle just like we used to, I have a feeling you‘re in need of a cuddle, and I am too.” when he hears me say that he smiles, he finally smiles, and gets up, taking the kitten with him as he walks across the room over to me, laying down with his back facing me. I wrap my arm around his waist, smiling to myself when his hair tickles my face.

“Thank you Cal.” he says, reaching out to turn off the lights. “thank you for not hating me.”