realizations

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i watch you move on-
but i realize you never held on 
in the first place. i did.

nevertheless, when i saw you,
after days turned into hours 
after hours turned into minutes
and minutes turned into nothing 
and all we were- 
were strangers who felt something,
before feelings were crumpled 
into paper balls that we 
fiercely threw into the recycling bin, 
before i remembered i could've-
should've said something- 

i guess all i felt 
was an empty longing-
a vain desire
to have someone back- 
to have you back. 
but i never did have you in the first place, 
did i? 

 but i never did have you in the first place, did i? 

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