Unmasked

Chapter 5

My eyes widened after realization hit me. Someone had a gun in this school, and I may or may not die.

I looked over to our teacher, he looked like he was about to shit himself. Any other time I would laugh but I was too scared to right now.

"Kids, g-go to that corner of the room! I have to l-lock the d-door and window!" He yelled, pointing to the corner of the room, where if someone looked in they couldn't see us.

The uneasiness in his voice made students even more on edge. My hands were shaking, and the room was getting dizzy.

Oh no, I am not having a panic attack right now. I did the only thing I could, I dug my nails into my skin to hopefully stop my uneasiness, sure enough it slowly relaxed me. I quickly made my way over to the corner of the room where the rest of the class were sitting quietly.

I sat down, and let out a shaky breath. I've gone through stuff no kid, teen, or adult should go through but this- this is still terrifying.

Bang!

Another shot.

I squeezed my eyes shut, stopping any tears that will try to make their way out.

I felt someone on me, and immediately jerked my attention to the girl hugging me and crying into my shoulder. My eyes widened, not knowing what to do, or how to help her. I simply patted her back hoping to give her a small amount of comfort.

The girls name was Addison, she was in all my classes and seemed like a normal girl. She was kind and pretty smart, top of all her classes.

"It's okay." I whispered, "it'll be okay." Truth is, I didn't know if it would be. Hell, how could I know? I've always wanted a sense of comfort in my life when everything was falling apart, and I never got it. Maybe I could give her some comfort and help her, just a little bit.

"H-how are you not crying?" She asked looking up at me. Her glassy eyes, and tears falling down her face gave me a sad sense of deja vu.

I looked down at her, not knowing what to say. 'Oh, I'm used to keeping it all locked up inside of me, so it's no different.'

I sighed and looked away. "I just have to be strong for everyone else." I told her, shrugging my shoulders. I really wasn't lying, and I didn't want to make her sad with my original answer.

"You don't always have to be strong." She whispered, and put her head on my shoulder. I looked back at her and frowned. I wish that were true.

I rested my head up against the wall behind me and sighed.

If you walked out of this room right now you could end your pain.

I squeezed my eyes shut even more, shaking my head. Don't listen, don't listen, don't listen.

Bang!

Another shot.

Addison and I both flinched, louder sobs escaped her mouth along with others cries of people around us.

I dug my nails deeper into my palm, I could feel the blood on my fingers now. I felt a small amount of relief, and let out a shaky breath. Each drop of blood reminded me of how weak I was, I couldn't do anything else but cause pain. The only thing I've ever felt in my life is pain. All I can give to other people is pain, being close to me will always end up bad. Whoever it is will only end up getting hurt.

I kept my eyes closed, I could just pretend I wasn't here. I could pretend that I'm at home 6 years ago, when mom wasn't a drug addict. I could pretend Zach had never came into our lives, or that my mother still gave me a kiss on my forehead each night. That little piece of love and affection, was what I've been craving for for 4 years. I just want someone to care, someone to help me. You could hire the best therapist in the world, but I still wouldn't be fixed.

You can't fix something that's broken, like glass. You can't say something, you wished you would've said earlier. What's done, has already been done. And you can't just make things all better, no matter how hard you try.

I felt a soft hand gently placed on top of mine, dragging me out of my thoughts. (Probably a good thing.)

I fluttered my eyes open and looked over on my opposite shoulder, where Addison had layed down her head. A boy in a white t-shirt, and black jeans with brown fluffy hair. I had this strange temptation to touch it, it just seemed so soft and fluffy.

I furrowed my eyebrows and slanted my eyes, why the hell did he put his hand on my hand?

"What, are you gonna hug me now too?" I whispered. He looked directly in my eyes and noticed his eyes were a mix of brown and green. They were a lot prettier than mine, his sparkled and looked full of light, but also fear being the situation we were in right now.

My eyes were dull, all color drained from them. They looked lifeless and empty, the bright green eyes I used to have years ago were replaced by a deeper green. They held so much pain, so much heartbreaks and let downs the world just kept on giving me. The once sparkle, and brightness that could be seen from across the room was gone. I could never go back to how I used to be, that sparkle won't ever come back, and I'll always be stuck as a stupid empty void.

He kept staring at me in the eyes, not taking his daze off of me. My eyes softened a little bit, maybe he was just doing this because he was scared.

"Don't do that to yourself." He whispered back to me. I looked down to where he moved his gaze, my hand.

I gulped and kept my eyes off of him. "I didn't m-mean to." I lied, I couldn't tell him that I was purposely hurting myself. That I was doing it because I was weak.

I could tell his eyes went off of my hands, and to my eyes and face again. He was probably looking at how hideous I was.

Was my makeup coming off?

Could he see my bruises?

I felt his hand leave mine for a second, then felt both of his hands on top of mine once again. I looked back at him, and he looked back at me. He raised my hand with his up to his mouth.

I felt his hot breath on my hand, and shivered. He brought his lips to my hand and placed a gentle kiss on the back of my hand.

I felt my muscles relax a little bit just with this one small amount of comfort, this one sliver of appreciation.

My face remained emotionless but behind all the walls I built up, I was smiling just a little bit. The small thought and action that showed someone cared warmed my cold heart.

I mouthed a thank you, and closed my eyes slowly and laid my head on the back cupboards.