Once Upon A Time~ Ashton Irwin fanfiction (AU)

Part 12

Hey guys! Quick little author's note! I'll start with a huge thank you to everybody who's read this story! I'm glad you guys are liking it :)
This part deals very strongly with suicide and self harm. If you aren't comfortable with that, or if it might be a trigger, you can skip it. I love you guys so so much! Keep reading! Oh! And comment what you think might happen next :)

The rest of the day, Ashton couldn't focus on anything but Andi. Endless questions ran through his mind. Where was she? Why did she have a bruise under her eye? Did her mother do that? Did she cut?

That's where he had to stop. There was no way. She couldn't have done it. She had been so happy, they were happy. When he got to music, he waited for her outside the room. When she got there, she wouldn't look at him, and he couldn't talk to her. It wasn't until the last bell rang that she broke. She threw herself into his arms, the book in her hands falling to the ground at their feet.

"Ashton I'm so sorry. She...she came and picked me up. I had no choice. She said she wouldn't let me act like a slut anymore...I don't get it. I'm sorry for not calling or texting you back. I didn't know what to say. I'm sorry." She said, tears falling down her face.

"Andi it's okay, just breathe. I'm sorry, Andi. I should have known that's where you were, I should've come for you. I'm so sorry. I was lost without you. Even my mom was beside herself without you around. I should've gone to your house. I was down the street the whole time. I'm so sorry, Andi. I'm so sorry."

She finally looked up to see tears falling from his eyes, and his breath hitched. "Andi oh my god...what happened? Why do you have a black eye? Did...oh my god did she do that to you?"

His muscles tensed as she nodded her head slowly, confirming his thought. He brought her face up to look at him before taking her hand in his, and pulling her out of the school. About five minutes passed before she finally pulled him to a stop in the middle of the road.

"Ashton, what the hell are you doing?!"

"We're going to your house, we're grabbing your things and you're coming back to my house. This isn't okay. She can't just beat you up and get away with it."

"Ashton, no! She's home right now, she won't let you in. Plus we just ditched school! It's not going to end well! What would you even do? It's not like you can hit her!"

"Tell me why you care so much about her, Andi! Why?! She has made your life hell! She hit you, for crying out loud! She hit you because you love somebody, which is more than she can say!"

"That's not why she did it, Ashton!" She yelled, her resolve breaking, the anger burning brightly behind his hazel eyes.

"What are you talking about? Why did she do it?"

He watched the light fade from her eyes before she began to speak, her voice quiet and lifeless.

"Well...I kind of have to start from the beginning. On Friday she came and picked me up at lunch. She told me that she knew I was having fun being a slut, but she wasn't going to let me ruin her reputation any longer. She pulled me into the car and drove me to your house. I grabbed all of my things, well most of them, and left. When I got home she pretty much locked me in my room. She wouldn't let me leave or talk to anybody the whole weekend. Then on Monday she walked in and just started screaming at me. She told me I was a disappointment, that she wished she wouldn't have saved my life, which she's said before. But then she told me she would've rather I be dead than have to house a dirty slut under her roof. She told me she thought I was having sex with you, that I was going to get pregnant and be alone for the rest of my life. I tried so hard to defend myself, and you. I told her so many times that she was wrong. I told her I loved you, that you loved me. I tried so hard. Then she just looked at me, and it was like my nightmare was coming true. She told me that nobody would ever love me, that you probably just wanted to sleep with me. She told me I was a waste of space, that it would be pointless to love somebody like me. That I'm worthless. She looked at me and said that I might as well just kill myself, that she would let me do it this time. She said her reputation would be better if I wasn't around. It hurt so badly, Ashton. It hurt, and I couldn't take it. I couldn't listen to her and not think she was right. I'm not good enough for you, Ashton. I'm a mess, and you're not. You're put together. You're happy. You are light, and I'm dark. I couldn't believe you love me. My mom...what she said just made sense."

"Andi, what happened?"

"I locked myself in my room. I found my dad's old pain killers, and there were a few left. I took them. I downed them with a bottle of vodka I had stashed in my bathroom, and just waited. I thought it would be over. But then I had my nightmare. It happened again, and I woke up. I had a pretty bad headache, and I was still in my clothes from Monday. I found my phone next to me. That's when I saw your calls and texts. It was Wednesday night when I woke up, and I didn't know what to do. I was just empty, Ash. I couldn't think, I couldn't breathe...I didn't know what to do."

"Andi, please. Tell me what happened. Why did she hit you?" His voice was shaking, tears pooling in his eyes.

"I went to my bathroom and grabbed my razor. I pulled it apart, and just cut. I cut until I couldn't feel anything anymore. I cut my arms and my legs, I cut my stomach. I cut until I couldn't see straight. I passed out eventually, and I woke up on my bathroom floor. I honestly just laid there. I couldn't move, everything felt heavy. I thought I finally did it. I thought I finally ended it. But that's when I heard my door open, and I saw her face. She pulled me up off the floor, and pushed me into the wall. I'm really not even sure what she said. I just know she was yelling. Then she asked me if I cared about her at all. I told her I didn't. I told her I didn't care about anything she said or did. I told her I hated her. That's when she did it. She just hit me...I couldn't even think clearly enough to react. I just know she left my bathroom and told me to go to bed because I had school in the morning."

Andi looked up at him when she finished talking. When she was the tears falling from his eyes, she had to look away. The idea that she had hurt him like this broke her heart. That's when he spoke, his voice so small she could barely hear him.

"Show me, Andi."

"What? Show you what?"

"Show me your arms. Show me."

Before she could respond, he had her hands in his, his fingers playing with her sleeves. She simply nodded her head before he pulled them up. His breath caught in his throat at the sight of her arm, staring at the deep gashes over her arm. The skin around her cuts was bright red, and the cuts were jagged. Ashton hadn't realized he was crying until a tear fell on Andi's arm and she gasped. He looked into her eyes, only to find that the light had left them again. Once again, he was looking at a broken girl, only this time she was much further gone. Her eyes were empty, surrounded by dark circles. The bruise on her face made her eyes look much more faded.

She slowly pulled her sleeve back over her arm before pulling her back into his arms, kissing the top of her head as the last of his tears fell into her hair. He slowly pulled away, looking into her eyes before he finally spoke.

"I'm sorry, Andi. I'm sorry I couldn't protect you. I'm sorry I wasn't there. I'm so incredibly sorry that this happened to you."

"This wasn't your fault, Ashton. Maybe she was right, maybe I'm not worth it. I even hurt you, and I love you. How can someone like me deserve to live when all I do is cause pain?"

"Andi how can you think you don't deserve to be alive? You are alive. You're standing in front of me, and you're breathing. After everything that happened this week, you're here. If anybody deserves to live, and to have a happy life it's you. I'm going to keep you safe, I'm going to keep you happy, because somebody like you shouldn't have to be this sad. We're going to go to your house, grab your things, and you're coming home with me. If we run in to your mom, I'll handle it. I promise Andi, you will never feel this way again. I love you."

At his words, she wrapped her arms around his waist, and let out a muffled "I love you" into his shirt. After a few moments, they began the walk to her house, his arm never leaving her waist, her arm never leaving his.