loop ||•annyeongz•||

chapter 17

Day-?

"Shit!"

Wonyoung clutched her injured hand in pain. She quickly scrambled to the bathroom, forgoing the vegetables on the cutting board for a while. The cabinets were messy, a result of infrequency and neglected cleaning as Wonyoung struggled to find the aid kit.

After half a litre of blood and five cabinets later, Wonyoung sat on the marble floor of her bathroom, her finger halfway through bandaged. The little pool of blood rested by her legs. It put her mind in certain incidents, ones that still burned fresh at the back of her mind despite having been a while since the events.

Wonyoung sighed and leaned back onto the concrete wall. Everything had been a blur for a while, and Wonyoung made sure it remained that way lest the numbness faded away and was replaced with anguish instead. It clawed on her. Her thoughts made her antsy constantly and Wonyoung took it upon herself to prevent them from swaying her emotions, if the empty bottles of pills were any indication.

Light bounced off the smooth surface of the tile, the light bulb staring down at her vulnerable form. The situation was strangely ironic, contents of the aid kit cluttered all over the bathroom floor and dim lights illuminating the cheap interior. A bandaged cheek, a crooked smile, shy glances, rapid heartbeats- Yujin.

Wonyoung slumped deeper into her all too large tee. The familiar rush of guilt came flooding back and she found it immensely hard to not loathe herself then. Yujin was a breath of air from the dull suffocation and monotonousity that her life had come to be. In little time to none, she had marched her way into the fragile sphere of her heart, breaking down the sky high walls that she'd carefully constructed over the years.

With Yujin lingering so close to the edge, staring face down into the abyss of her death, Wonyoung could only cling onto the last string of hope that she'd provided herself.

She looked over the fact that her belief was dwindling each day, each moment where Yujin laid motionless on the white sheets without a sign of life, like a tiny little flame struggling to be kept alive. Afterall hope can only be enjoyed so much.

The hallway stretched long and silent. Wonyoung slid down the rough walls behind her, sobbing into her hands. The situation was weighing down on her, the realisation hitting her like a truck. Guilt and frustration and everything in between grew inside of her and suddenly she found it hard to breathe.

"Wonyoung."

She continued sobbing. It was all too much to take in at once. Hitomi sat down next to her, one hand cautiously draping over her trembling shoulders.

"Atleast now you know."

Wonyoung had never cried harder.

The metallic smell of antibiotics engulfed her once she stepped into the hospital. Her lack of sleep as well as poor appetite contributed to her nausea and Wonyoung wanted to gag at the sensation. The elevator ride seemed longer than usual.

Her reflection stared back at her from the metal doors. The usually raised cheekbones were slumped and Wonyoung couldn't remember the last time she slept without feeling like an earthquake was going to kill her mid sleep. I look horrible, she thought. Great  Atleast she knew how Yujin felt then.

The hallway to intensive care was silent as usual, save for the nurses occassionally scrambling up and down. The door opened to reveal Yerim grimly talking with Chaewon and Chaeyeon and of course, Yujin on the bed. Motionless as usual.