Tommo is Typing

Chapter 27: Soft Lou

[Thursday, May 27th, 2010 - 3:19 AM]

Haz: Lou, take shelter immediately, we're under attack.

Tommo: ex-fooking-cuse me

Haz: You heard me right. You need to get in a closet or something, anything will do.

Tommo: i think not

Tommo: no way i'm going back in there

Haz: Aww, Lou it's okay, I love and accept you for who you are.

Tommo: no-

Tommo: you absolute, spoon

Tommo: i was left in a closet during a game of hide and seek once

Tommo: they forgot about me and i was sat in there for five hours

Haz: why didn't you just leave-

Tommo: because i'm not gonna go and ruin the game like that, god

Tommo: are you sure you're familiar with the rules of hide and seek?

Haz: FIVE HOURS!

Tommo: worth it, i beat those fookin losers so good

Haz: Well.

Haz: Alright, thank you for sharing that harrowing story with me.

Haz: But we're still in danger, in case you forgot.

Tommo: oh yeah, we're going to die

Tommo: what's up with that

Haz: You're too nonchalant about this.

Tommo: am i now?

Tommo: because i would argue that you're too uptight about this

Haz: Just go somewhere safe.

Tommo: not until you tell me why

Haz: You know what, it's fine.

Tommo: good

Tommo: i never thought i'd hear the end of that honestly

Haz: I'll come get you, we'll go to the bomb shelter together.

Tommo: the what-

Tommo: haz, what are you on about?

Tommo: i've not heard anything, how could we be under attack?

Haz: No time for questions, I'm getting in the car as we speak.

Tommo: no, no, please don't

Tommo: i will not be getting in a vehicle that you're driving

Tommo: over me dead body

Haz: I'll have you know that I'm an incredibly safe driver. I even won an award for it at my school.

Tommo: course ya did

Tommo: but that doesn't change anything

Tommo: hazza?

Tommo: oh god, no

Tommo: listen, i don't respect anyone that texts and drives, but dear god i hope these notifications annoy you enough to get you to pull over and check your phone

Tommo: ma'am

Tommo: i'm going to have to ask you to step out of the vehicle immediately

Tommo: you're far too pretty to go to jail for killing anymore squirrels

Tommo: wait, how have you gotten my address?

Haz: God, will you shut it. I'm trying to save your life.

Tommo: right, yes, i gathered that

Tommo: but what exactly are you trying to save me from?

Haz: None of your business.

Tommo: i would argue that it is completely my business

Haz: Fine.

Haz: F-F-F

Haz: I can't say it.

Tommo: what are you? a toddler trying to say their first curse word?

Tommo: get it out already

Haz: What toddler swears-

Tommo: me

Haz: Yeah, it makes sense now that I look back at it.

Tommo: i hope i'm not ACTUALLY in danger or i'm proper screwed

Haz: Fire-

Haz: Fireworks.

Tommo: fireworks?

Tommo: you're trying to protect me from fireworks?

Haz: yes.

Tommo: that's kind of adorable actually

Haz: Thanks?

Tommo: is little hazza afraid of the loud fireworks?

Haz: maybe.

Haz: I'm just trying to look out for you.

Tommo: thanks for that, curly

Tommo: but i'm okay

Tommo: why don't you go home, alright? make yourself a big cup of hot coco, snuggle under some blankets and put on a really loud movie.

Tommo: the noise of the telly should block out any background noise

Haz: Okay.

Haz: I'm gonna head back then, I'll text you when I get home.

Haz: Bye, bye, Lou. Thank you for not making fun of me.

Tommo: i could never

Tommo: and, on the bright side, that's your christmas present sorted then

Tommo: i'll get you them big noise cancelling headphones so we can go watch them fireworks together

Tommo is typing...