Me & Her

Her

I'm burning.

It isn't right. Isn't fair.

How come the only activity that I take interest in is off limits? This is just like last time, where everything she could do I couldn't and everything that I can do I'm not allowed to try.

Burning, burning as lacquered flames.

Steering her body into an arc, I reach out to grab the teacher's arm.

"Ow! Miss! Miss Kirby!"

Startled, I swing around, melting into my defensive stance. Something's happening, something I will burn.

I will burn this whole school to ash. Burn the ash to nothing. Hands splayed, knees bent. Ready, waiting, wishing for something – anything – to happen.

Emma limps toward us, hand pressed too heavily on a supposedly sprained ankle.

"I hurt my ankle," she says, making me want to chuckle. Her acting is worse than Principle Self-Importance. The teacher doesn't seem to care, but she nods, saying she will call the Nurse. Since she doesn't specify when, I am led to believe this whole fake injury thing happens often.

Grinning, Emma ploughs into me, leading us both to the old benches. She sits down, stretching out her leg and wriggling her toes in the trainers. Perfectly fine. A frown escapes onto my skin.

"If you aren't injured, why did you lie? Why are you sitting here with me?" She stares at me as if I've asked her the strangest question posed to humankind.

"Because you'd be lonely sitting here all by yourself". I scoff and cross my arms.

"I would be anything but lonely". It's then I notice that I've made no effort to disguise my voice or the way I move. Alice is robotically awkward, a tangle of limbs wrapped inside numerous apologies. I am smoother, like a river.

Emma probably hasn't noticed.

"You don't have to lie to me. It's no fun being on your own. Besides, I can do Gymnastics any day of the week. I don't get to talk to you," she carries on. The frown increases.

This girl must be out of her mind and coming from me, that's saying something.

She doesn't even ask why I'm sitting out, why I'm left at the back of the room like a discarded novelty. She never pries, even when I continue to be myself. First, my body eases to a slouch, while my tone deepens slightly. As I've said before, no one ever notices the change. I don't expect them to. However, when Gym ends, when we're all piling out of the hall, she regards me with a curious expression.

"You're different". I try to avoid pointing out that her limp has disappeared.

"Let me guess," I groan. "Bad different". Everyone always says I become too brash, annoyingly confident. Some sort of arrogant demon that takes root inside sweet Alice.

I am a possession.

No one wants me to last.

But Emma immediately clasps my arm.

"No, I like it. You're more...confident this way".

Without waiting for a response, she bounces off to the changing rooms. Even as I gather my words, I can't find the will to speak, to ask her why. She has to be a spy, informing the Foundation of my movements. That has to be it.

Alice pops into our mind, all sweet smiles. Always unaware of the danger.

Noah could be an informant, that was why he was hanging around the lockers. He must have been listening in. That was why he talked so much; he was trying to lower our guard. My fists close around the bag straps, throat tightening over the sound of the bell ringing for recess. Liars.

Alice's voice, pure, rings out. Her words are hands, reaching for me in case I fall.

'Are you afraid of having friends?'

'No'. I don't know why she's surprised when I refuse to elaborate.

When the bell chimes again, I surrender control.