Me & Her

Me

We rush to the car, nearly slipping on the manicured grass.

My lungs are hummingbird wings, rising so fast I cannot hear them fall.

I can't feel anything. Nothing except the rising bile in my throat. Bile which tastes of the thought of my Mother, crying out for a daughter that isn't there.

As we rush to Light's car, I risk a glance back at the Academy, with its glass eyes and potted palms plants crowned by glistening walls of cream. The only place I've felt at home these past few months. My tongue turns to led as I think of Emma and Noah.

I never got to say goodbye.

And now they will never know.

The beige of Light's car, like a birth mark in the parking lot, sinks into view. Before he can jump in the car, I snag his arm. He jumps, but doesn't turn.

"What if we're too late? Did you see what happened? Is my Mother alright?" Light doesn't answer. Instead he races to open the door and motions for me to jump inside. I grab him before he can start the engine.

"Please, Bo. It's my Mum".

"I'll get her. You are going to straight to the airport or a bus station or anywhere but here". My mouth opens, but no words come out.

Before I can utter a sound, Bo turns the key in the ignition. And, all of a sudden, I can't breathe. I swallow the nausea. Not now. This is too soon. Why now? Why now? This isn't fair; I never asked for this. Not once.

The car rumbles, a grizzly bear, and Light lashes his hand to the steering wheel. I taste blood. I've bitten my tongue.

"Bo, please. I'm not leaving her."

"And I'm not leaving you. Everything will be alright. I'll drop you off with a friend of mine; he'll have passports waiting for us". I shake my head.

I left my mother once before. I'm not leaving her again.

He's about to turn the wheel, but I grasp his hand. Swerve the car so that Bo slams against the window. He grunts in pain, but I ignore him. Steadying the car, I grit my teeth.

"I am not leaving her. Or you". Light glances at me, placing his hands back onto the steering. In my head, Alyssa screeches.

'You are leaving. If you don't get Doctor Dumbass to turn this car around, I will take over and drag us to the airport,' she snaps. I laugh.

'I don't doubt it,' I echo back. But I don't move. Nor do I ask Light to turn the car around. I'm not leaving and that's final. I'm done hiding and lying and running. I'm done with pretending.

In our head, Alyssa smiles.

'Alright,' she says. 'Let's go.'

Bo, as if reading our mind, puts the car into full gear. The wheels screech as we hurtle down the highway. My stomach bounces, jarring my ribs. But my face is cast in stone. Mum. We're coming. I grit my teeth. We will save her. We're not going to fail, not again. I know, or at least, I think I know, why Alyssa is here. Why Alyssa appeared. She saved me. My mind needed to protect itself and she answered my prayers.

I'm not going to let her, or my Mum, down. Never again.

Dr. Light whips the steering wheel to the left, slamming the car into suburbia. Pedestrians on bikes, or those walking dogs, scream, cursing at us as we pass. I find myself smiling.

The chaos is somewhat comforting.

'You're starting to sound like me,' comes Alyssa's irritated tone inside our head.