Me & Her

Me

When I jolt to consciousness, I'm in a state of permeant blushing. Hot flushes are racking my body, while my heart is rabid against my ribs.

She kissed him. Oh god, she kissed him. I don't know whether to scream or vomit.

Both are a definite possibility.

It wasn't even a good kiss, it was sloppy. And gross. Really, really gross.

Heat reigns over my entire body, forces me to flop onto the pillows. Pillows?

I'm lying in my room, a dishcloth discarded on the bedside table. Mum is sitting on the end of the bed, pouring over a magazine. As soon as she sees that I'm awake, she smiles.

"Dr. Light found you unconscious in the living room. He said you'd caught a fever. Don't worry, it'll pass," she tells me. Light found me. If only she knew the truth of that statement. The curtains are drawn, ensconcing me in an impenetrable cocoon. I want to laugh. This place is anything but safe.

"What time is it?" I ask, trying to peer beyond the window. Mum closes an article on healthy breakfast recipes and stands up.

"Half past nine. It's okay, you can still go to school tomorrow if you want. But don't push yourself". I do. I need to escape this house.

"Thanks Mum," I whisper as she turns to leave. After a brief pause in the doorway, she vanishes, lost to the landing. Someone else finds me instead. The door creaks, pulling Dr. Light out of the blackness.

"Hey," he says, a slight flush to his cheeks. He's embarrassed? How does he think I feel? Alyssa might as well have kissed him. His hair is mussed, while his suit is rumpled, giving him a rugged quality. For once, that unbreakable exterior has softened.

I don't know the person standing at my door.

"How's the headache?" He fiddles with a buttonhole.

"Fine. Better actually, since he...". Since he broke through his own mind, tried to kill Alyssa, and ended up kissing her instead. The usual. I pinch my bedsheets, searching for the right words, the right emotions. There aren't any.

"I'll pick you up from school at the same time tomorrow," he says to fill our silence. There's an entire chasm, digesting his voice into nothing. He stays caught between my white carpet and the hardwood floor outside. Wavering.

"Good night". He shuts the door before I can reply.

Alone in the dimming light, I hug my clothes to my skin. The cold grabs me through the window.

Slipping out of bed, I change swiftly into my pyjamas. Alyssa is quiet – too quiet. She's so quiet it's agony not hearing her speak.

The bedcovers are still warm, so I snuggle into the marshmallow duvet. Day one of my new life has been and gone. Day two is on the horizon. I can do this.

A memory threatens to resurface – from this afternoon – but I shove it back down again. Bury a hatchet in its head. Bury it alive, dig a hole, cover it in soil. There's no time to waste on the past, especially when it can ruin my future.

'So, you did see everything. The facility, Doctor Creep. Everything'. Alyssa trudges into our head, tugging what seems to be a guilty conscience behind her. That's surely a first. I sit up, readying my lecture. She doesn't seem to understand that there are boundaries. Many boundaries.

'Look, I'm sorry. I didn't want you to have to see those things,' she starts, but I'm a loaded gun.

'That's not what I'm mad about. I can't believe you kissed him and without my approval'.

'I'm sorry? Since when were you the lips police? It was my choice'.

'It was disgusting'.

'Hey, I don't judge your relationship with Doctor Dirtbag,' she snaps.

'At least I didn't kiss someone who tried to kill me'.

'It's not like that'.

'Twice,' I add. Alyssa mumbles something and faces the imaginary wall in our mind.

'He's dangerous,' I tell her. Or try to. There's no guarantee she'll listen.

'As I keep saying, so am I'. We leave it at that.

Settling down amongst the covers, I banish those thoughts, those memories. A thousand creaking gurneys won't haunt my dreams tonight. Doctor Steele is gone; he can't hurt me anymore.

But the pain leaves scars that I know will never heal.