Shattered

Fourteen

Dedicated to ho__sanna
*~*~*~*~*

"Baby, I'm sorry I didn't mean to hurt you."

Next day the same thing happens.

He apologizes again.

And the destructive cycle continues.

How long do you want before you quit.

What do you want to see before you understand that he's beyond redemption.

Say a big NO to violent relationships.

*~*~*~*~*
Briiiinnnng! Brinnnnggggg!!

My eyes was tingling. I could only see sparks flying around and my ears were ringing so loudly.

It's not an allergic reaction to something. No, it's something far worse. It's I, trying to process the fact that my boyfriend just slapped me that's why I was seeing stars and my ears were ringing.

I was staring at him speechless as he walked out of the shop with my phone.

Finally, the ringing stopped and I could see clearly. I wiped my tears and I winced when my eyes stung from pain.

How could he? How could he hurt me like this without hearing anything from me?

I was like a zombie as I sat down on the chair, selling pop corn and keeping the money. Nobody knew the pain I was going through. Physically and emotionally I was hurt.

Finally it was night time. He normally picks me up whenever I closed I wonder if he's going to come get me.
As the thought crossed my mind his call pulled up in front of the shop. He didn't come out or say anything. I quietly entered the car and sat down beside him.

He didn't say a word. Only when I looked back did I realize that someone else was behind me. His friend, Ugo.

"Babe, sup?" He greeted.

I smiled and nodded at him. Then I turned towards Chika, he looked so different. He seemed distant and I could feel his anger all around me. I shivered.

We drove to my house quietly and he parked in front of my house. I knew I ought to leave but I didn't. I stayed back and apologized to him.

"Baby, it's not what you think my extended family, I just couldn't tell them about you," I explained.

"Because you're not proud of me," he answered.

"No that's not it." I tried my best to explain but he wasn't listening.

"Devil punish you there! you're a demon from the pit of hell!!" He cursed.

His words pierced my heart and I felt a sharp pain like a knife repeatedly stabbing my chest. It really hurt even more than his slap earlier today.

I cried till my eyes were red from crying. I stared at the time and I saw it was getting late. My parents will be worried but right now I couldn't careless. All I wanted was for him to forgive me.

"I'm sorry!" I croaked out from my dry throat.

"I curse the day I met you," he said bitterly.

I shooked my head furiously. I refused to believe this. It can't be the end of us. I loved him so much and I was not willing to let go.

I know you'd be saying I'm a girl of sixteen what do I know about love.

But you're wrong, I know a lot of things about love. In that moment, I was scared that I was going to lose him and I didn't. I felt pain from everything. My head hurt and I felt light headed but I refused to back down.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry!! I'm sorry!!!" I yelled.

"Fuck you!" He yelled back.

I screamed my lungs out, I pulled my hair from frustration and I shooked my head continuously from denial. I'm not losing him.

Even as I write this to you all I still feel the pain but this time it's not so much.

Finally his friend spoke up.

"Boss, let's go it's late," he said quietly.

"Get. Out!" Chika yelled at me.

"Baby." I tried to touch him.

"Don't." His voice was like a whip. I flinched.

Gathering my things I left his car without my phone.

I didn't speak to my parents about anything. That night I cried and that was when I started my first self harm.

That night, I grabbed a small knife. I wanted to end my life. But I couldn't, so I slit my wrist to release some of my pain. As the blood flowed out, I felt light headed and I had a euphoric feeling.

Putting the knife away, I closed my eyes and welcomed the darkness.

A sweet escape from reality.

A/N: I'm sorry I've not updated for awhile now guys I'm working on my new story The fill-in boyfriend please check it out if you're interested in teen fiction.

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